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He died for our sins on the cross,
Technology not on his side,
He’d had much more luck in a Ford pickup truck,
That’s what Jesus would drive.

Terrain in the desert is treach’rous,
In a Honda you’d barely survive,
God’s only kid needs a ride that won’t skid,
Ford is what Jesus would drive.

Twelve disciples don’t fit in a Pacer,
A gun rack don’t fit no Subaru,
So if you’re a truck buyer be like your messiah-er,
Only Ford pickups will do.

Livin’ in the desert makes you thirsty,
And hangin’ on the cross makes you think–
Jack Daniels not water can soothe that stigmat-er,
That’s what Jesus would drink.

Twelve disciples make great drinkin’ buddies,
But Judas can get on your nerves,
When your best friend’s a shyster don’t drink Jagermeister,
“Jack” is what Jesus would serve.

What Would Jesus Do?
He’d buy American like you’re s’posed to do.
What Would Jesus Do?
His crown of thorns would bleed Red, White and Blue.

Not all folks like what he stood for (no they didn’t),
They thought that their blasphemes were cute (but they weren’t),
He’da taught them a lesson with his old Smith & Wesson,
‘Cause that’s what Jesus would shoot.

Twelve disciples are not to be messed with,
Jesus you’d never refute,
So you’d best not be steppin’,
He’s got an automatic weapon…

‘Cause that’s what yer Jesus,
Yer Sensei the Jesus,
Yer truck-lovin’,

Yes, that’s what Jesus would do.

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