The Nuclear Baby: Stillborn

Yisrayl Hawkins, False Prophet

I just couldn’t let October 13, 2007 pass without a mention that four-fifths of the Earth’s population have not died due to nuclear war. The Nuclear Baby is stillborn.

Call it schadenfreude, but I would love to be a fly on a wall in the House of Yahweh right now. Please, if you’re in proximity to the HOY, leave a comment with your take on what’s going on there.

It will also be quite interesting to hear Hawkins’ “post-apocalyptic” sermon MP3 if his webmaster doesn’t desert him.

Truly, if you’re in the HOY and continue to follow Yisrayl Hawkins beyond this point, you’ve got impeccable credentials as a world-class idiot. Too bad there’s so little demand for idiots, except among Hawkins and his ilk.

But it’s not too late! You’ve had an expensive, yet valuable lesson in the need to think for yourself, and you have the rest of your life ahead of you: time to get on with living it.

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257 Responses to “The Nuclear Baby: Stillborn”

  1. Sandy Says:

    Is it just me or does this guy look like the hippie Dad on that old TV show Family Ties?

  2. Renee Says:

    The HOY has worse problems right now. One Elder Yedidiyah Hawkins was arrested on Tuesday “for the alleged sexual assault of his 14-year-old stepdaughter.” Those of us who know anthing about this disgustingly corrupt outfit know that this elder is not the only child molester there, and hope that this arrest might be the beginning of the end for them.

    http://www.reporternews.com/news/2007/oct/18/hawkins-arrested-on-sexual-assault-charge/

  3. KD Powell Says:

    Yisrayl Hawkins has been “preaching” that the girl who made the accusations against Yedidiyah is a liar, and that he is not guilty. He is getting really nervous, now, telling his followers that he MUST leave the country, to attend a Peace Conference in India. Trouble is…..there is NO peace conference in India right now. He’s gonna pull a disappearing act, taking these peoples money with him. He has gotten his “faithful” to come into agreement with him, that they would rather DIE than leave the House of Yahweh. Sadly, it is going to be another Waco or even Jim Jones kind’a thing. He has started LOCKING the sanctuary doors during “services” because he is afraid of being raided. I just hope and pray that the authorities are fully aware of this, and will stop Yisrayl Hawkins, before there is a major loss of life. This scares me, because I live about 2 miles from his “compound”.

  4. Renee Says:

    Oh for crying out loud, EVERY woman who says anything against any man in that place is a liar! Hey, the devil is a WOMAN after all!!! ROFL!

    Idiots. If there WAS a hell, Yisrayl Hawkins would be right at the top of my list for an immediate transport., with his little yes man right after. He’s a sick sick man, who is, himself, a compulsive liar.

  5. Elisheba Says:

    Ironwolf,

    I am sure glad that you have this web site up! Keep up the great work!
    Were you ever a member of the hoh or anyone else that is posting here?
    If so, what were the reasons why you left? I left back in 2004.

  6. Ironwolf Says:

    Elisheba,

    I was never an HOY member, but I understand that Hawkins was associated for a time with the sect I grew up in, the Worldwide Church of God (WCG). HOY was brought to my attention by an exiting member who was feeling isolated and wanted someone to talk to during that transitional time, and I’ve kept tabs on them since.

  7. Elisheba Says:

    Thank you Ironwolf for writing back. I too was in the WCG from 1985-1991 in calif. Mr. Luker was my minister back then. There was one other minister before Mr. Luker but his name escapes me right now.

  8. just me Says:

    My hands are shaking as I read this. I ran away from HOY because they were trying to make me marry Yedidiyah Hawkins. I was only sixteen years old at the time.

    He is an alchoholic. I still have a stack of hand-written love letters from Yedidiyah Hawkins, as well as photos.

    I knew the girl who became his stepdaughter. She has beautifully haunting eyes. If he were near me now I would slap him in his face. I can’t belive this man professed to “love” me.

    He even told me I was to blame for his drinking, because I would not relent to him.

    I feel to blame that because I would not become his victim he moved on to another innocent girl. I hope he burns.

    HOY messed my head up. They told us that our husbands OWNED us, and that if were were a pious wife, we would call out husband MASTER. That I would go to HELL if I did not submit to a husbands rule.

    I was being brow-beaten to hurry up and choose a husband. I was told I was causing a disruption in the community as a single sixteen year old girl. I needed to be settled down with a husband and a child.

    It was also brought to my attention that a man could, if he wanted, forcibly rape me, and still be within the laws of Yahweh, so long as he married me and paid my bride price. It was clearly implied that if I did not submit to marry, then I might be taken as his wife “the old fashioned way.”

    I am shaking with rage that he did this to his stepdaughter. This is the girl who took my place, because I ran away. I had the choice and she didn’t.

  9. Renee Says:

    “just me”–I believe you. I was there.
    Glad you are away from it.

  10. KDP Says:

    just me…please do not think that what Yedidiyah did is your fault. It isn’t. PLEASE, PLEASE give the Callahan County DA this information. Your information will help in prosecuting Yedidiyah. I am so thankful that you got away from that awful place.
    Here is how to reach the DA.
    Shane Deel

    100 West Fourth Street, Suite 202
    Baird, Texas 79504

    Phone: 325.854.5810
    Fax: 325.854.5811

    jsdeel@netzero.net
    http://www.callahancountyattorney.net/

  11. unreal! Says:

    Just Me,

    Sweety, You are so precious, and He is not worth it! It was Not your fault at all, as he was abusing her since she was 8 years old according to the reports and has been rumored she is not the only one. He is a predator on childeren, He already has 4 wives, in many cults like these, Lust is never satisified, it is an evil and never stops, You were a victim of his already abusive ways, Praise our father in Heaven that you escaped, and I so pray many more will follow as all the girls there are subjected to the exact same stuff you went through.. I myself recently left due to simular reasons although not as young as you.. this is totally women and childeren abuse of the worst kind and thank my heavenly father I did not get married and live this kind of tormenting lifestyle…
    Be strong…

  12. outtathere Says:

    Hey there “unreal!”

    I am always glad to hear that yet one more person has escaped the physical and emotional abuse widespread in the House of Yahweh.

    But I would like to invite you, and everyone reading this thread, to reconsider not only your devotion to HOY and Yisrayl Hawkins, but your acceptance of the ideology that makes that place, and those men, possible, found in any bible or BOY [Book of Yahweh for those not in the know].

    Even a superficial reading of the “Old Testament” (whether your favored version reads “Yahweh” or “God” make no difference at all) presents a deity that, according to a now well-known science writer, “is arguably the most unpleasant character in all fiction: jealous and proud of it; a petty, unjust, unforgiving control-freak; a vindictive, bloodthirsty ethnic cleanser; a misogynistic, homophobic, racist, infanticidal, genocidal, filicidal, pestilential, megalomaniacal, sadomasochistic, capriciously malevolent bully.”

    Now if your immediate reaction to this portrayal is one of surprise and disbelief, trust me, every one of these descriptions is taken straight up from the narrative of the unpleasant doings of the Judeo-Christian “Heavenly Father.” But actually, don’t trust me. Just open the nearest BOY and have a read. Try Leviticus. Or Deuteronomy.

    Relative particularly to the present instance, misogynistic polygamy is nowhere proscribed in “the Book.” I was present in the House (around 1994-5) when Yisrayl Hawkins “brought out” the teaching that it was quite all right for men to have more than one wife, given the example of the “Patriarchs.” And wasn’t that just all so convenient for him, a man who goes through women the way most men go through toilet paper? He figured out a biblical way to have all the women he wanted–with Yahweh’s approval. Didn’t you see what happened to women and children after that? The pain, the confusion?

    Women forced to accept a husband’s lusting after (mostly (very much) younger) other women, forced to accept a second wife? Children seeing less and less of daddy, not knowing why? Adolescent girs having to fight off advances of older men? I could tell several personal stories of heartache, and I’m sure you could too.

    But my dear, it is all perfectly acceptable! Because the god of the bible allows it all, and approves. Warren Jeffs, the despicable leader of the YFZ group (now in jail convicted of being an accessory to child rape), took his lead from this same book, this same role model, the loving (not), merciful (not), “Heavenly Father” that you pray to.

    Please do reconsider. Pull yourself not just out of the House of Yahweh, but out of delusion that the Book, and Yahweh, are anything but a very unfortunate, nasty fiction. Quite a leap, I know, but it’s possible.

  13. KDP Says:

    outtathere, what compassion you show! You are heartless. This girl came here looking for kind words and compassion. How can you say those things about the God that loves you so much, he gave His Son to die for your sins? Mark my words….one day. you will regret ever even thinking such things. You are an idiot if you truly believe that The Heavenly Father, approves of ANY form of child abuse, or anything else that one might do to hurt another human being. I pity you.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    just me…please, don’t think that anything Yedidiyah did was your fault. Everything that unreal! said is absolutely true. I will be praying for you.

  14. Ironwolf Says:

    KDP,

    outtathere, what compassion you show! You are heartless. This girl came here looking for kind words and compassion.

    I honestly think that outtathere is speaking from compassion, because it is quite true that human compassion exceeds that of the God of the Bible.

    How can you say those things about the God that loves you so much, he gave His Son to die for your sins?

    Well I, for one, don’t believe in him. So it’s easy.

  15. outtathere Says:

    Well KDP, pity is as pity does I suppose.

    I don’t think you would know how to handle what I think of the “sacrifice” of the “cross,” so I won’t go there. But my oh my I am overwhelmed by your compassion towards ME! Yes, great indeed is the compassion of the followers of the mighty Yahweh! [sarcasm]

    And how do you know what “this girl” came here looking for? I made the assumption that some bit of truth might be what she needs as this point, and it looks like what you thought was that she just needs further coddling.

    Ironwolf is right though (thanks guy!). If you invite someone to come out of a prison, into a jail, what good is that, how compassionate?

    It seems to have been entirely lost on you, KDP, that I was once a HOY member. Did you get that part? Didn’t you get it that I knew Yisrayl, Yedidiyah, and so many of the scummy rest? And, that as a WOMAN (uh huh), it took a great deal of courage for ME to leave that place? To defy my husband and run, me and my young child as well? With elders coming after me with threats of damnation, and friends (except for one) all turning their backs, and being beside myself with fear that my husband would beat me (again) and that while I wasn’t paying attention he would take my son and hide him somewhere and claim that he was doing it for the sake of the child’s soul?

    KDP, I was once the woman shaking with fear, as I dared to reach out to people who were not in the HOY. I was once the abused woman looking for a way out. And I was once the woman who “ran away” from the lies, the corruption, and the filth that is the House of Yahweh in Abilene, Texas. And along the way, people told me the truth, and I listened, and I found freedom.

    You don’t need to pity me now. You need to find a way out of the deception yourself. ALL the way out. As does “just me.”

    “Just me,” through tears, I wish you all the best. If you want something beyond a hug and a prayer, let me know. Oh, and KDP? That goes for you, too.

  16. outtathere Says:

    “just me,” something more.

    I actually agree with KDP concerning contacting the DA with your story. Anything to keep the scumbag behind bars. But only if you’re strong enough, and only if you have support.

    I don’t know how these things work, but if you’re inclined that way, perhaps you could initially send an annonymous email to Deal with some of your details.

    If I had had a cell phone for photos, and a tape recorder running all the time I was there, Buffalo Bill and some others might have been behind bars a long time ago. I hear he’s out now. Now THAT’S a pity.

    Good luck!

  17. unreal! Says:

    Pasting instead of linking is abusing my blog.
    HERE IS THE LINK FOR THOSE WHO ARE SUFFERING
    http://letthelightout.com/index.php?sid=2

  18. unreal! Says:

    Thanx to all the comments, I have thought about this as well, Once you study the Law, You get a completely different point of view of who Yahweh is.. its extremely Painful, I have often wondered if the old testiment is a FAKE! I have always loved the new testament and often wonder how thse 2 books ended up together.. these are my thoughts.. Im just trying to get out of the confusion.. and Outtahere. wow I can relate to the feelins about the accepting of other wives and them lusting after the younger wives even our very own daughters. I cant tell you the tears i have cried and Im so sure you have to.. I dont know how the other women feel but i would presume you would have to have no heart not to feel this way.. ugh!

  19. Ironwolf Says:

    unreal,

    The NT is entirely based on the OT and males direct reference to it many times. So if you reject the OT, you must also reject the NT.

  20. outtathere Says:

    unreal, yes I agree that examining one’s beliefs can be very painful. In the end I spent 6 months, actually, not believing in anything HOY taught, but trapped there not knowing how to leave. It was horrible.

    I would just encourage you to keep thinking! Keep questioning. I can’t take you the way I went, but I came across this video, and if you’ve got the time, I think it’s well worth it:

    http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=2061773048178434620
    Who wrote the Bible?

    I don’t agree with this fellow’s conclusions, but this was a great intro to questioning the bible. Shedding doubt on its authorship weakens considerably its assertions and authority. You won’t get this information from one of Hawkins’ sabbath sermons! LOL. Go for it!

  21. TheXMember Says:

    I’m a male that was in HOY for about 6-7 years and I’d have to agree. HOY was trying to follow the letter of the law in the bible and the result was pretty morbid.

    Basically, the older guys would end up with the women because the younger guys were not allowed to see them, or to even look in their direction. The women didn’t have much choice because they would have a small selection of guys that had enough clout to break through the seperation and make offers.

    Also, nobody wants to be a slave, nobody wants to be owned.

    The character portrayed in the bible either changed his mind about what is right and wrong and had his son maimed and killed to, some how, make a show of changing his mind…or he never changed his mind and people can still own other people, rape a girls that you want to buy/marry…and kill every man, woman, child and animal of those that don’t follow the same rules. It takes a really big leap of logic to say that any of that is good for anything.

    As scary as it sounds, I think we have to mature up and face the fact that there is no one book that is a fool proof guide to life.

  22. KDP Says:

    outtathere , I am really very sorry that you had to go through all of that at HOY. Truly, I am. No human being should be treated that way. Ever.

    What I don’t understand, is how can anyone hate God so much. I mean the God of the Bible, not the one that I believe Yisrayl Hawkins worships, for I don’t believe that his “god” is The God. YH is doing satan’s work.

    I have talked with others, who, after leaving HOH, gave up on any kind of Faith at all. That’s sad. That’s why I believe that Hawkins is doing satan’s work. He ruins them. They lose all hope.

    I didn’t mean to come off hateful. That was not my intention.

  23. TheXMember Says:

    KDP,
    I don’t think it ruined me. I’d say it made me much more practical. I face up to the fact that there are things I know, and things I don’t know.

    Plus, instead of spending all this effort chasing something that produces no tangible benefits, I’ve been doing good in school and recently got accepted into a world class university, I’ve joined a band and basically started pursuing real accomplishable dreams. When you pursue and accomplish your goals, the benefits transfer to everyone around you, especially your children.

    That said, the mind-screw that the Hawkins system puts people though does have a lot of potential to leave people hopeless and bitter. But, what can we do about that? Leave messages on blogs?

    I haven’t lost all hope. If anything I feel free to be myself without worrying about something as big as my eternal soul!!! With our messed up, limited experience, there is no way we know how to make choices with those kinds of consequences. That’s like asking a 13-16 year old to pick a husband/wife. Someone that age doesn’t even come close to having that kind of maturity.

    Hugs and kisses

  24. Ironwolf Says:

    KDP,

    What I don’t understand, is how can anyone hate God so much.

    If you really want to understand, and not just denigrate, then you need to first overcome the idea that non-believers “hate God.” Non-belief does not amount to hate, nor do unbelievers generally arrive at that stance out of anger or bitterness. Secondly, the only way you can honestly say that non-believers “hate God” is if you don’t really think we’re unbelievers at all, but rather believers-in-denial. Aside from the fact that this is quite insulting, it also makes further conversation impossible. I could just as well say you are an atheist-in-denial. See? We get nowhere. I can accept that you believe in God. If you truly want to understand, can you start by accepting that I truly don’t?

  25. outtathere Says:

    Ironwolf said it about “hating God.” I like that atheist-in-denial idea! Agreeing, I can also add that it would be so easy to hate the character that is portrayed in the OT as Yahweh, who is really quite the mass murdering evil maggot. Too bad he’s not around today, as we really need a sweep of the surplus population. Problem is, who would his mighty arm assist? The Jews? The Christians? Or the Muslims? In any case, the unfavored tribes would be screwed. And the atheists? Toast.

    TheXMember, you crack me up. The result was “pretty morbid”? LOL, you got that right.

    Always glad to hear about an “X member,” and it looks like you’re doing quite well. Yeah! You really seem to have thought through things and come out on the other side thriving. Given the extent of the screw, it’s a wonder anyone makes it out alive.

    Hey, I understand they put a cinder block wall down the center of the sanctuary to separate the men and women, is that right? I guess I left before the worst of the insanity ensued. But I was still present when men and women alike were starting to wear rubber gloves around the place–some to make sure they weren’t spreading “uncleaness” around, others to protect themselves from becoming defiled… I was cowed into using a plastic mat to sit on in the sanctuary during my “time,” but I steadfastly refused to wear gloves–even my maniac husband thought that was a bit much.

  26. outtathere Says:

    KDP, apology accepted!

    And unreal, I hope you keep thinking, keep questioning. I would say also, that actually, lust is not evil. Sexual desire is part of our nature as living creatures–gotta perpetuate ourselves, after all, eh? Mutual, consentual “lust” is really quite nice and no harm done. ;) Sexuality is an issue that the bible, old and new T alike, manages to mangle quite dreadfully. The body is good. Sex is good. Bible is bad… bad bad bible!

    I hope just me is okay.

  27. outtathere Says:

    Robert, you really need to get your facts straight. Hawkins’ prophecy came true!

    “In my last letter I showed how the nuclear baby Prophecy was fulfilled in the time period prophesied, and how Yahweh actually held back six nuclear bombs destined for Iran that would have killed a third part of man over a fourth part of the earth in and around the great River Euphrates.
    Yahweh shows why and for whom He held this war back. He also shows it will not be held back long. Yahweh also shows, by His Holy Prophets, a sin-sick world, for this same time period, being led by religions that will not repent of sin…” http://www.yisraylhawkins.com/

    I’m shakin’ now, really. Have you seen the picture of that baby? Scary.

    Sigh.

    [lol—the words I had to type before submitting my comment were:
    New stroller Ha!

  28. TheXMember Says:

    Outathere,

    It’s not so much a cinder block wall. That would mean it would be a semi well built structure. This was was more like scraps of wood and parts of cubicle walls topped with propaganda pictures.

    It got pretty bad over there. Everyone was starting to wear viels…except most of the elders. The women were covered up from head to toe. Everyone had to carry a mat to sit on. They started having the “resturant” employees stand behind a veil while taking your order. It got so bad that they started saying that it was wrong to visit friends…even between same gender friends. Eventually, (this part is heresay because I left soon after they were saying that friends shouldn’t visit each other) they started saying that people within families shouldn’t visit!

    What you said about sexuality is true. If you don’t have a healthy outlet for a nonsupressable biological function, it will manifest itself in deviant ways.

    work play work play sleep

  29. Ironwolf Says:

    I just looked over Hawkins’ post facto justification of his failed prophecies. The first thing that struck me was he’s not naming dates anymore— he just says that the nuclear baby was born and will be “set free soon.” Bleh. So Hawkins has finally wised up and realized that if he wants people to keep believing his bullshit, he’s got to stay unfalsifiable.

    My second thought while scanning his voluminous drivel was that the Church of the Subgenius went through a very similar situation when the X-ist beings failed to arrive in their pleasure saucers on X-Day: July 5, 1998. It was only after this date that they realized that the Conspiracy had sabotaged the calendar, and that to this day 1998 has not yet really arrived.

  30. outtathere Says:

    For many years my ex-husband kept a list in the back of his BOY of prophecies that Hawkins made that had not come to pass. There were at least 10.) How’s that for blind belief (not)? We’d be sitting in the sanctuary, he’d make a prediction, and I’d lean over and whisper, “Put it on the list.” One day though, one of the more fanatical elders got hold of him (a really weird guy who called himself Mosheh Mosheh), and they had a “talk” out in the shed. (no kidding) He refused to ever tell me what passed between them, and after that he tore out the list from the BOY and burned it and he and I never had a flippant word about Hawkins again. Suddenly, living in a crazy ass cult wasn’t fun anymore.

    Anyway, Hawkins has always been a master of biblical spin. So easy to come up to the pulpit and say, “Yahweh has now revealed to me…” or “Elder [whoever] just yesterday discovered that…” or “Last night I had a dream…” (really) or “We mistranslated that passage; it should really read…” (they would even send you typewritten corrections of biblical passages in the mail to replace the “error”) or just to stand up there and go on and on about nonsense in Daniel and/or Revelation and make it seem like he GETS it.

    It doesn’t really look like he’s wising up at all to me. What he’s doing now is what he’s always done. But no matter. It was, is, and always will be–bullshit.

    TheXMember–Did you know Elders Mrotek and Stenz? The House lost something when they left, when it came to building stuff. And yes, I can just see that “wall” now…

    Anyway, I’d like to ask you if by the time you left, were Sue and Elder David Heimerman still there? Thanks.

  31. TheXMember Says:

    outtathere,

    Mrotek was one of my counslers for a while. I wasn’t close to him but he was obviously well intentioned…just about everyone there is. Hawkins had alot of outlandish things to say about Mrotek when he left.

    I left around mid-2006 and Heimerman was still there. Although, I wasn’t close to him because I was under Levi Lewis. I never knew Sue because by that time we had a total gender seperation. We weren’t supposed to talk or even look at the opposite gender…but I looked whenever I could
    :-)
    When I left, a lot of the women started wearing what amounted to burqas. They were covered from head to toe with only their eyes showing. Guys where starting to wear viels and gloves everywhere too. Oh yeah, and they started making everyone go into the sactuary barefoot….then they made everyone get sactuary slippers that weren’t to be worn anywhere else. Oh yeah, I shouldn’t forget about the part where we started having to get sprinkled with burnt cow water before the feasts.

    It’s amazing the amount of physical gyrations you can make people do if you tell them they’ll go to hell if they don’t.

    I hope you’re doing well.

  32. outtathere Says:

    Hey X, shoot me a message at

    coretemprising77@yahoo.com

    will you? Thanks!

  33. outtathere Says:

    burnt cow water?
    not even sure I want to know what that is…
    : (
    You know, after Jedidiyah was arrested and jailed, and then after Hawkins was arrested and jailed, I kept hoping that was the sign of the end for that insane place, and the people could disperse and try to pick up the pieces. I mean, how much more stupid can it get? What, are they going to say no one can talk to anyone else AT ALL? I’d like to see the men and the elders wearing veils! LOL! How did they do that exactly? I have one friend from there who left shortly after I did, and she and I decided that if the elders were so worried about becoming defiled then THEY should wrap THEMSELVES from head to toe in saran wrap or a tarp or something. We got a chuckle imagining that. Idiots.

  34. TheXMember Says:

    Burt cow water: They would take a cow and kill it, then they would burn it to ash …along with other stuff like wool and/or some other stuff…Anyway, then they would mix it with water and then we were supposed to dip hyssop in the water get sprinkled with this water a week before the feast and not become “unlcean from the world” during that time.

    Things like what happened to Yedidiyah and Yisrayl tend to harden a cult members resolve. It’s a pretty well known phenomenon in psychology. They set people up for it very early in the indoctrination. (You will be persecuted for following the truth. Meanwhile, you’re more likely to be persecuted for acting crazy.) HoY is far from unique. They’re following a structural and philisophical blueprint that nearly every cult follows.

    They have tried to get people to not talk to each other…unless it related to the work. Everyone ignored this, including the top elders.

    Saran wrap, ha. They practically did have the women wearing tarps.

  35. unreal Says:

    HI, Everyone, wow all the new messages,,I left less than a year ago, I have so much to say but cant on here, and its hard to trust anyone right now,, But when I was there as a woman, it was horrible, you just wouldnt believe it, women has to have or I was told by my counselors, two different sets of dishes for clean and unclean 2 different makeups for clean and unclean, gloves veil and mask always and of course the mats and this is for the men too, I wasnt married in there thankfully!! Of course as a women they tell you you are a reproach without a covereing, they pick your husband like you cant see them but the counselors pick the most rightoeous and you get to talk to him on the phone to decide, but at the same time YH is so lifted up and you only see him anyways i know the guys think there is all these women there is not! 27 are yh wives and maybe less than a 100 woman and let me tell you most have like 3 to 10 kids each,, the young ones are very limited and gettnig married very young, and I truelly believe the young girls are veiled to hide abuse, and we are not allowed to talk for fear a young lady may complain about there 72 year old husband or 50 .. its a type of isolation,, as i was a bused as a child myself and these exact same tactics were used on me, i was never allowed around my mother never my brothers nor family and he was abusive and constant fear i wasnt allowed to look at others because he feared I would tell,, so this leader who has married 2 16 year olds recently,, so i heard, i believe he has hidden one,, but theres no telling the type of abuse there, he could beat her, how would anyone know? shes all veiled up? so much more,, But I do believe there is a God,, I feel his peace, I had to fight to get my sanity back through prayer and so many other things, I got very sick from the HOY,, almost died from there products,, I dont know if anyoen else went through that but I never had stds so i know it wasnt that anyways im afraid to talk about that and there are certain individuals that know in the hoy and they could find me out.. take care :)

  36. unreal Says:

    I just wanted yall to know I never lived ther thankfully just there for the feasts, I hate the fact that I lost all my friends and family and it is taking some time to rebuild the relationships i once had, I lost a girlfriend my bestfriend of over 15 years we grew up together,, and i really hurt her and my family.. its like my name unreal that I fell is such deception,, anyways heres my email: I am trying to make new friends.
    beautifully03@yahoo.com

  37. outtathere Says:

    Hey there unreal–such a sad and ugly story. It seems it all got so much worse after I left in the late 1990s. My then-husband remains–so pathetic.

    I have felt the exact same concern about being found out and somehow harmed if I gave too much detail about myself and my story. This may be an utterly irrational fear, but it remains nonetheless. And, I too was an abused child. In fact, I discovered that a lot of the people at HOY had been abuse victims as a child. Now isn’t that fascinating? Perhaps that background in childhood sets you up for acceptance of an abusive male later in life, and Yisrayl Hawkins certainly qualifies.

    I would say it took me at least two years to come to some sense of being normal again, and the first year was truly hell. But so many years later I suppose I can say I’ve “recovered.” I hope you will be able to say the same. I gave my email address for all to see above. Please feel free to contact me if you wish. I would be delighted to hear from you.

    By the way, and as a plug for Robert, I found his site while I was still at HOY, and had the nerve to set up a hotmail email account and send him emails while my husband was out of the house. He helped me tremendously and I owe him a lifelong debt of gratitude for his compassion and rational explanations for all my crazy questions. Live long and prosper Ironwolf! ;)

  38. TheXMember Says:

    Unreal,

    I just wanted to say that it took me about the same amount of time as Outtathere to recover mentally. For a couple of years I was completely negative because I assumed I was going to hell. But, after some time I was able to get some real, tangible goals in my life. Once I started actually accomplishing some of them, I felt a million times better.

    It wouldn’t be a bad thing to be open with your story. It cathartic to a lot of us that went through the same things and maybe it could prevent someone else from going through the same things.

  39. outtathere Says:

    You thought you were going to hell?! Not really?
    :(

  40. TheXMember Says:

    Yes, I did think I was going to hell. It was pretty messed up. I had know idea what the point of life was. I had lost my purpose.

    After while I figured…well, if I could do anything…what would I do? Then, to my surprise…I found that I could do those things. Life is whatever you make of it.

  41. Ironwolf Says:

    He helped me tremendously and I owe him a lifelong debt of gratitude for his compassion and rational explanations for all my crazy questions. Live long and prosper Ironwolf! ;)

    You’re always welcome, and I’m honored to have been some help at such a critical time in your life. But the true honor goes to you: because you had the strength to get the support you needed, and then to get “outtathere”. :)

  42. widowsweb Says:

    I am a former member as well. I am a widow after being married in the HOY, I was not allowed to be remarried. For nearly 7 years I remained a widow and most of my younger years have been wasted on waiting for a kingdom that never came.
    Leaving became a process of little by little and maybe that is for the best, when finally I said No More!
    I was part of the separation and never spoke to men, and those who wanted to, (because we used to be friends when my husband was alive), but could not or they would burn in the lake of fire if they did. I spent my time helping children and began to see the abuse that befell them. No schooling, but lots of work in the fields, slaughter house, cafeteria, canning and butterhouse. This was full time work that babies to age 100 took part in. It was after Yedidiyah was arrested that the summer work program ended and all children were to return to school on Monday. ?What school? What a joke, an out and out lie before the congregation and they still bought into it!!

    Slavery, that for some crazy reason, (salvation and a place in the kingdom) people just did and for that they obtained a meal (as long as they paid for the plate) it was on and many times it was the bottom of the pot special of the day, or freezer burnt meat or fish no one would buy. Some got paid, for their efforts, like about $5 - $25 a week depending on the quality of person you were considered. They called it a blessing, but I called it a curse! Out of that money you were required to tithe 10%, put away 10% and on a third tithe year like now, another 10% was to be given. Paying .50 a day for a plate, and if you wanted a drink you had to pay for that, even water. Your measly blessing was put right back into the HOY.
    The wall was real, the clothes were real, the attitudes were real, the prophecies were false, the child labor was real, the teens lusted after was real, the care stardard was not there, buffalo worship was real, especially when the little boys would bow down to Yisrayl on the stage before the congregation.

    I still have family in there and it scares me that the boys will grow up to be lustful women haters, and the girls pawns of old men. Where are the Texas Rangers when you really need them.

  43. outtathere Says:

    Another one out, good.

    Widowsweb, why were you not allowed to remarry?

    From what you and others have written, I am SO glad I got out when I did. Of course, it would have been better to never have been there at all, but life goes on.

  44. TheXMember Says:

    Yeah for Widowsweb! Glad you got out. That place ruins people and steals there hope for a better today.

    I’m a guy and there are alot of guys there that don’t like the way the women are treated. But, if you say anything, you’ll burn in hell.

    Hell only exists when sick minds create it.

  45. Widowsweb Says:

    When a woman becomes single due to widowhood or disertion, she is not allowed to remarry as she was ‘betrothed to him forever” as they use that scripture when couples get betrothed and then married. I was instructed that since the end was only months away…and again months away..and on and on, that I would have my husband back anyway.
    Now a couple of exceptions have been made when Yisrayl Hawkins wanted one to become his wife and he would use the Levitical Law of the sandle and the brothers first born would be named after the deceased husband, if a child comes of the relationship. So it was ok, if he wanted the woman, but other than that it was not OK.
    I am surprised at how much the men seem to not know about on the womens side of the sanctuary. Busting each other to the Kohanahs is a favorite passtime among the women. If anyone is complaining about anything it is immediately reported and that woman is called in for counseling and correcting.
    If anyone knows that young woman “Just Me”, she should really take her story to the DA to show the way Yedidiyah operates with young girls. He needs back up for those who still need convincing he is guilty of his crimes.
    Thanks for the supportive comments and I am willing to help anyone who wants out of that place, that horrible place.

  46. TheXMember Says:

    That’s retarded. Women got remarried all the time in the bible. Bathsheba got remarried to David and down the line that caused the birth of Jesus/Yahshua…or if you want to be real technical Yahushua. (Number 2 gets really really mad if you use any of his nicknames….like you’re gunna burn in hell mad….but lovingly.) If you question this insane and cruel rule of women not being able to remarry then you’ll be sent out where there is weeping and nashing of teeth, and you’ll be joining the legions of satan in ‘her’ quest to overthrow the ‘Mighty One’ (not God)…forever to be amonst the damned, never another chance for salvation, ever….for not wanting to spend the rest of your life alone…?

    Men don’t know about what goes on in the women because Yisrayl keeps all parts of HOY completely compartmentalized. It’s right out of a mind control handbook. You’re only focused on your one task, that way you can’t see how you’re contributing to the overall scheme.

    Most men don’t know that they start preping girls to get married when they’re 12…unless they have a 12 year old daughter of their own.

  47. outtathere Says:

    Yisrayl Hawkins is a disgusting rotten bastard.

  48. outtathere Says:

    … without even one “redeeming” quallity.

  49. widowsweb Says:

    He does tell people when they lose a loved one to stop crying and just move on. Cold, calculated, controlling and callous! Yisrayl Hawkins does not need to be over a group of people who are depending on them for their very lives! Minds are manipulated, coerced, and changed. I cannot believe how I ever fell for it, but a person must be hurt real bad to see through the BS! Those who are in there have not been hurt enough yet. There wife has not been stolen, their daughter has not been raped (yet) and stolen, their son has not been worked and paid pennies. And if they have they take it for who knows what reason! Most of the men I have ever met are men who don’t take that kind of abuse. The men at the HOY just take it. How scriptural is all that? Is that how Mosheh did to his men?

  50. unreal! Says:

    Widowsweb- I just left the hoy this year.. I guess permanently- I didnt live there but I was supposed to get married- and when that occurrs I spent alot of time learning about the mens side that gave me an entire different outlook- The men do not realize about the women at all- specially how you are treated if you are not married-your a reproach- every pressuring to get hurried and married- i was also counseled to quit my highpaying job do to uncleaness and paying tithes after daycare and left with pennies-i was breaking the law- then because i was so poor i absolutely needed a head.. after going through all that - what kind of marriage is based on being poor needing a head which sounds great but also like prison– Im so glad im out and each step forward is heartbreaking in my new life because of all the Fear drilled into me but once i make the step in Fear I realize wow– Life is Great!!- Im free– Just remember its one day at a time- for me I cry alot now because of the pain and loss of my life but each day gets brighter …:)
    unreal.

  51. widowsweb Says:

    I can fully relate to you unreal. I also left a short while ago and have experienced more pain than I want to admit. People in the HOH say how come people don’t just leave like they do in the churches but it is alot more than that. When you start to see how much you have been decieved, lied to, stolen from, and abused. Yes abused by the controlling factors at work coming down from the office of YH! Like you leaving your high paying job and going penniless to make you completely dependent on YH or some guy you may not even want!! All the manipulation and fear is behind us now. I also am Free from all of this, and when my therapy is finally over, maybe I can stop worrying and wondering about all the minor children that still need help out there, as they slave in the fields and all other jobs they must do in the hot summer heat. Afterall, the summer work program is probably back in force. Where are the helicopters when you need them to take the pictures of the workers who are mostly children? And what about the elderly women who are treated harshly when their arthritis or worse is acting up? They also are breaking the Laws of Yahweh when they cannot work, and if they become disabled they just ship them off to a nursing home to be forgotten. I never wanted to grow old in the HOH!

  52. outtathere Says:

    Pain, crying, therapy…
    Been there, done that.
    Laws of Yahweh?? Hahahahaha!
    Fiction. Cruel fiction.

  53. unreal! Says:

    I am fully convinced that RELIGION is evil, I truely hate religion, Religion just makes people crazy, it abuses from the small to the largest extent.. I have never went through this before, but this House of Yahweh that I was a babtized member of, was the Most abusive religion I have ever experianced in my life, It is so destructive.. and you know I read that being a member thinking I cant believe that say that,, but its not untill they get you actually in there, Its like levels, you go through these levels,, first the sabbath the name this and that, I finally got to aplace like each level is worse than the one before,, its pure BLASPHEMY,,!! I mean i remember getting counsilled by my counselors explaining to me how my husband can lie to me and its completely righteous OOO Praise Yahweh right,, I left in total confusion.. How can they say Lieing is Righteous.. twisting my mind.. like ALL of it.. I mean look at that BUFFALO.. its so in our face………. what a JOKE… This guy I was supposed to marry, is a YH COPIED VERSION— after a couple of years of it.. I realized He hated women of course he wont say that and i thought i cant marry this guy I cant marry none of them.. YIKES.. and im so glad I didnt but I feel for the ones who do and it could be so much worse I mean just think if I had married YH ewwwwwwwwwwweeeeee.. old fart having sex with all those women sharing there germs YUCK.. sorry for being so graphic…. anways.. you can email me anytime if you need a friend…. I think I need therapy LOL>> where can you get that.. Im also thinking of taking antidepressants just to cope with the LOSSES in life that im so upset about.. WHAT A WASTE OF TIME i TELL YA…

    take care.
    beautifully

  54. unreal! Says:

    You know I just cant wait untill all this is over with,, I hope he and Yedidiyah goes to Jail, not to mention any others who are abusing, I wont say that about all members as I am sure some are just caught in the trap hoping for someone to rescue them, Like I did, These cults need to be shut down for the safety of our childeren who suffer only at the knees of the parents, I feel so sorry for them too,, I know how horrible it is I remember looking at thier little faces of despair and anquish and depression,, its horrible. One day soon i hope the governement rescues them.. so they can have a normal life.
    beautifully

  55. ANONYMOUS Says:

    KD POWELL-YOU ARE A JOKE.LOL.THATS ALL IM SAYING, AND ALSO BEFORE U GET ON HERE TO GOSSIP GET ALL OF YALLS GOSSIP STRAIGHT.LOL.THIS IS HILARIOUS..HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAH and justme..i know you are the biggest liar ever! its funny how all of yall come on here a diss a religion that completely peaceful oh and yea for your information, if YH was a flight risk-do u think they would of let him out that easy, i dont think so, and yea youre right-there isnt a peace conference in India, and im pretty sure we are all capable of figuring that out for ourselves by doin research your free agents to choose -not brainwashed-so get over yourselves.

  56. TheXMember Says:

    Anonymous,

    justme isn’t lying and you have no idea how much pain it causes a victim to be told they’re lying.

    Most of us are X Members that need to tell our experiences.

    KD POWELL may be misspeaking because he/her doesn’t really know the ins and out of hoy. But your criticism comes off as arrogant because you believe that you’re some kind of superior “called out one” that “gets it” and everyone else are poor lost souls that will someday find the error of their ways and come in droves to Abilene. That’s not going to happen. Your leader is going to jail and your number two leader is in jail. That’s how it is. There’s nothing glorious and honorable in it.

    They did consider Hawkins a flight risk, that’s why they took his passport. You can find and article about that if you go to http://www.reporternews.com and then search for House of Yahweh.

    If you believe that you will go to hell for not obeying some guy named Hawkins, you’re not a free agent. Threatening someone with hell and eternal damnation is the ultimate form of force.

    Be careful what you say to people. You might be calling victims evil and victimizers holy.

    Don’t mock justme. You have no idea who that person is or what they’ve experienced.

  57. widowsweb Says:

    Anonymous, Just me is telling the truth as I spoke to someone who knew her who confirmed it, with tears. She told me what went on with her and Yedidiyah before I told her it was posted on this website!!!

    As far as you being brainwashed, you said you knew there was no peace conference in India, yet, and I repeat YET, you continue to hang on everyword of this venomous preacher, even though he fabricated a peace conference! A liar to say the least. I say he is getting too old to run. He will live out his life in his luxury, not his mobile home he claims he lives in, and then go to jail and become a prison preacher, just for the jollies of having a following. Prison cult is not much different from the HOH anyway.

    Oh and your religion is completely peaceful as long as you don’t buck up against or the teaching. We all know that!

  58. widowsweb Says:

    Unreal, the children do suffer. You look at them in the cafeteria or at the hands of those women in the canning department and they are sheer little robots going thru the motions to get the work done. They are tired of getting into trouble for talking to friends, or listening to music on a MP3 player or their cellphone. Each day they lose a friend when the parents wise up and leave in the night! They have lost other friends to CPS..so sad, and they are afraid they may be next…and they just might. One child told me that his teacher, Elder C. told them if they go outside the gate they will be picked up and put in public school. He said he skipped school every Monday and sat on the outside wall, hopeing to be picked up!! It broke my heart as he was only 10 years old and he wanted out! The children are trapped more than the parents when you think about it.

    Unreal, how can I email you?

  59. unreal! Says:

    Hi, Widowsweb,

    You or anyone else can email me at beautifully03@yahoo.com
    Sincerely
    beautifully :)

  60. widowsweb Says:

    unreal, Beautiful,
    Your Yahoo account was deleted. I hope you are OK!

  61. widowsweb Says:

    Unreal,
    Just so you know you can trust me, and I don’t blame you for being scared and Fearful! Damn that place! They are so hateful! Contact me through our mutual friends. A beautiful rose to you on this mothers day, I wouldn’t want to skip over you!

  62. unreal Says:

    Thanx Widowsweb and same to you, I dont know what occurred, I will try to get a new email soon..
    beautifully

  63. widowsweb Says:

    Email me with the new one. You have my address.

  64. TheXMember Says:

    HOY made the front page of Yahoo!!!

    http://www.yahoo.com

  65. outtathere Says:

    I see Tanah’s still spouting the party line, poor little brainwashed thing. And they talked to Miryam! I was in the choir when she took over from Yahuda. Now there was a truly odd individual. He looked like a homeless person.
    Good to see Yisrayl in jail orange. Too bad he got out. Too, too bad. I’m sure he made the most of it, you know, the persecution and all. Bastard.

  66. outtathere Says:

    FLASH!
    HOY & YH on Fox News today!

  67. widowsweb Says:

    HOY is all over the US today. Just do a google search for House of Yahweh and it is all over the place. Probably on your own local TV station! The same story is on the Associated Press and all stations and newpapers are picking it up! Wow huh? Well, there goes the change of venue! You can run, but you cannot hide HOH!

  68. TheXMember Says:

    The pastor was arrested again: http://abcnews.go.com/Blotter/story?id=4862997&page=1

  69. stillgrieving Says:

    I lost my best friend to the house of yahweh almost 10 years ago now. I wonder if any of you know him. He moved to the texas compound 1997-ish with his family (mother, older brother, younger sister…his father and older sister were having NO part of it) to begin preparing for “the end” aka the year 2000. They are an african family from Canada (london, ont. to be exact). His name is (or was) Kwame, his brother is Nana. If anyone knows them I BEG you to let me know they’re okay.
    Kwame started off commuting to Detroit to meet with others from “the house” as he referred to it, for gatherings and what-not (please excuse my ignorance, not quite sure what to call it). He then made the move to texas. He actually made small attempts to involve me, inviting me to detroit, even texas, with him. He gave me literature to read but explained that if I read this material, and enlightened myself but still chose not to follow yahweh, I would burn in hell…I was very interested in learning more about this “cult” I felt had a grip on my (very intelligent, by the way) friend. Yet, strangely enough, even though I believe not a word that comes out of any of these people’s mouths, I was scared and NEVER read one word form any of the pamphlets he gave me for fear this COULD be true, and what if it was??? I’m a very strong willed, intelligent woman, always have been, so I never fell into the trap…but just that fleeting moment of fear in my heart was enough to make me see how someone could easily be lured in, especially if you are being taught the ways of the house of yahweh by someone you already know and trust.
    I was broken hearted when they left, it was like they had died because we never ever heard from or saw them again. I spoke to his older sister a few weeks ago and brought the boys up in discussion, wondering if she had heard from them (hoping). She said she hadnt but she felt that us running into each other was a sign, of what we did not know. I felt a strong sense of peace after speaking with her…

    …last night i fell asleep with the t.v. on and woke up to a cnn story about HOY in the middle of the night. it basically confirmed all of my fears about this “religion” and what they stand for…I knew, but I never KNEW. I just always had a feeling something wasnt right with these people.

    Does anybody else fear there will be a mass suicide or some other terrible event??? I’m so worried…I just remember how devoted Kwame was, I think he would do absolutely anything for them!

  70. TheXMember Says:

    Still Grievin’,

    I remember a black Canadian during the feasts. I don’t remember his name…probably wouldn’t matter anyways because they go by Hebrew names. The last I saw of that person was around April 2006, which was the last feast I attended.

    Don’t worry about mass suicides or anything sensational like that. Their leader is going to jail and most of followers will flounder for a while and then they’ll get on with their lives.

    If your friend has any family that he knows of…he’ll probably be in contact with them at some point in the future.

    The followers will try to hold on and rationalize how their leader is in jail, but eventually they’ll come to the conclusion that nuclear war didn’t start Sept 12 2006 and that their leader wasn’t clairvoyant enough to foretell his own arrest.

    Try not to worry, Hawkin’s was holding on to most of the people there by a very thin, weak thread.

  71. unreal! Says:

    I believe Yisrayl Hawkins was arrested today May 15,2008 on bigamy charges, two women ages 19 and 22 he fathered childeren with them Last year.

    see this news website for more info
    http://abcnews.go.com/Blotter/story?id=4862997&page=1

    Unreal!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  72. outtathere Says:

    Stillgrieving–
    I just want to say that I know this pain you write about. When I got out of there I left behind not only a dear best friend, but the best friend I had probably EVER had, the wife of one of the elders. She and I both wept the last time we were together. We spoke on the phone several times, long distance, from where I had moved. But eventually, my idiot ex dropped the news to the elder that she and I were speaking (even though I was a “fall away”, which didn’t matter to her), and that was that: he forbid her to speak to me anymore, and she felt she had to obey her “head.” It’s been nine years since I left there and I am still sad when I think of her. I keep hoping they will come to their senses and leave, but it hasn’t happened yet.

    I hope that by know you know that not a single word they preach has any validity. It’s all a bunch of nonsense. Burn in hell!! Yeah, right. Got to admire a god that makes such a place as hell, though. Wow. Way to create stuff! Yeah, I’d call that intelligent design for sure.

    I hope you find your friend.

  73. unreal! Says:

    also KTAB News he was infact arrested today.

    http://bigcountryhomepage.com/media_player.php?media_id=14236

  74. unreal! Says:

    I believe he has already bonded out :(

  75. stillgrieving Says:

    why does that not surprise me.

  76. TheXMember Says:

    It’s ok that he’s bonded.

    He’s feeling the pressure that he’s applied to thousands of people over the years, and soon enough he’ll face a jury of his peers. The evidence against him is overwhelming, and he doesn’t have any sympathy from the general population that will make up the jury pool.

    Most importantly, the internal self doubt that he’s experiancing is by far the most torturous punishment for him. He’s aware that he’s not a malak that the god (father, yahweh, etc…) is talking too.

  77. outtathere Says:

    Internal self doubt, X?
    Give me a break.

  78. widowsweb Says:

    He will never show that ‘Internal self-doubt”. I can see him now with all his wives at his feet in his office, kneeling down, crying holding his children, begging Yahweh to protect him, and if it be possible to ‘take this cup from him’! I mean it, they bow to him constantly like he is a king and whatever he tells them to do they will do. There will probably be a mass exodus of all his illegals to go home to their country, and take those kids with them, so keep him from appearing to have thirty wives. They will have nothing when all this is over. And the taxpayers may have to pick up the slack after 2.1 million in land and probably as much in money or more, will have to be split up between all of them. I used to think he had at least fourty children. What a mess! Those kids are so indoctrinated or brainwashed in the HOH and by YH. I wonder if their is any hope that they will ever be normal.

  79. TheXMember Says:

    OK Ok, You busted me on being too soft and understanding.

    It’s just nearly all my sufferings are self inflicted. That’s why some people can be perfectly happy in jail or in war…and other can be in a mansion in Beverly Hills and be completely miserable. I’m just saying that he’s completely miserable.

    Oh and by the way, one of those bowing crying wives is co-operating with the authorities. There’s almost no chance he’s not going to get locked up for a very long time.

  80. widowsweb Says:

    X member writes: Oh and by the way, one of those bowing crying wives is co-operating with the authorities. There’s almost no chance he’s not going to get locked up for a very long time.

    Yes, the one who writes the reciepts for the brides prices! I am astounded at the one who has come forth. Can you imagine having your eyes opened and being the accounts receivable person for the pimp!! She gets my vote for wife of the month! I wonder just how much she tells as far as selling girls to men and the money he has made. Correct me if I am wrong but I think that is human trafficing and I believe that is illegal. He may have his very own daughters on the lay-a-way plan for millions of dollars, just because they are his seed. Sick I know, but it would be a part of the “breeding program” he so encourages. Like buying a pedigree puppy to breed two years from now. Oh that makes me so sick!
    Human trafficing, Slavery, Child Labor…just to name a few…

  81. stillgrieving Says:

    anyone watchin’ 20/20???

  82. stillgrieving Says:

    p.s. thank you sooo much to everyone that replied to my post. It gives me great hope (talking to you all and reading the other posts) that one day, whether or not we ever see each other again, my friend will be able to live a “normal” life and be the person I know he is.

    Also, I applaud you all on knowing right from wrong and acting on it in an almost impossible situation. I don’t know if you guys realize how strong your hearts and especially MINDS must be.

  83. widowsweb Says:

    Stillgrieving, it is not easy. I have been in therapy for six months now and still have problems with all of this since I still have family in the House of Horrors. I pray all of this will come to an end soon. I am going to put your friends name out on ARN article comments and see if anyone remembers him.

    I missed 20/20. Was there anything on there about the HOH tonight? Does anyone know?

  84. stillgrieving Says:

    thank you widowsweb! that would be amazing…

    20/20 was about the FLDS but it just made me think about everything and I wonder (and maybe you could help me), is the HOH (lol) as bad/weird as them? or worse, i’ve heard some say? what exactly goes on? deep down do you know something isnt right? i have so many questions i wish i could ask kwame, but can’t…i know he changed considerably and there were times at the end when he would tell me things about his beliefs, or just his opinions on everyday things and i would sit there and wait for him to be like, “just kidding man, you know me better than that!”…how can a person and their beliefs change so rapidly and completely based on something so unbelievable??? (no offense at all to anybody on here)

    …if anyone can shed some light on my qestions it would be so helpful to me (and his sister whom i have contacted since finding this website).

  85. stillgrieving Says:

    oh, one thing inparticular that caught my attention on 20/20 tonight was the marrying-off of an 11 year old girl???!!! does that actually happen? did it happen in the HOY?

  86. widowsweb Says:

    I know people who come out of the HOH and they cannot think for themselves. They do things they would never normally do and can’t explain why. They are fast to do what people suggest without thinking and then when things go wrong they blaim whoever told them the idea. Crazy, huh? Well, not really. It is how they have been programmed and while they were in their most of the orders they recieved worked out, but that was because it was all geared to carbon copy lifestyles each was living. Now when someone leaves they have a real hard time thinking for themselves and making quality decisions. That is what brainwashing will do to a person.
    Does anyone relate to this, or have seen it themselves.

  87. widowsweb Says:

    I know people who come out of the HOH and they cannot think for themselves. They do things they would never normally do and can’t explain why. They are fast to do what people suggest without thinking and then when things go wrong they blaim whoever told them the idea. Crazy, huh? Well, not really. It is how they have been programmed and while they were in their most of the orders they recieved worked out, but that was because it was all geared to carbon copy lifestyles each was living. Now when someone leaves they have a real hard time thinking for themselves and making quality decisions. That is what brainwashing will do to a person.
    Does anyone relate to this, or have seen it themselves?

  88. unreal! Says:

    Yes I can relate, I have had a very hard time making my own decisions, but now that I make them I think that is part of my healing as it feels really good to make my own decisions and builds my self esteem and my own identity that I had Lost.. its a Long road.. but its normal for anyone coming out of the cult to experiance this kind of difficulty it does help when x members help others to go through the adjustment to the outside world.. and Positive encouragement also overlooking their faults..because it takes time to deprogram………..

    hope this helps people..

  89. stillgrieving Says:

    how did you all get lured in to the HOY? i know kwame’s mom was promised good health for her children and a cure for their sickle cell anemia, which kwame and his little sister both had and almost died from…thats another thing i worry about, if they’re getting medical attention of any kind…

  90. stillgrieving Says:

    BREAKING NEWS!!!!!!

    yisrayl hawkins is going to be on nancy grace tomorrow 8pm LIVE answering viewers call-in questions and talking to nancy!!!!!!!

    this should be interesting…she doesnt take any bull!

  91. unreal! Says:

    The Hoy is against seeking Medical attention.. Thats why some have died and others get very sick…. :(

  92. stillgrieving Says:

    correction: the nancy grace show is this coming tuesday, not tomorrow! sorry.

    …have any of you witnessed or heard of anyone die on the compound from sickness? how do they justify that? i just want to know how common it is…please tell me.

  93. Yaaqov Says:

    Peace to everyone

    I came into the House of Yahweh 19 years ago looking for truth, and to serve The Heavenly Father, and in 1995 I was excommunicated for reading The Dead Sea Scrolls. Four years ago I started investigating the group, because I had suspicions. Two years ago I found children being abused, and raped, and my friends murdered. I could not just walk away. I did not ask for this job, and I am not getting paid for it either. Everyone has been making it very difficult for me to do this job, because they think I just want to take over the group. Like I said I did not ask for this job, and I have lost everything I own doing it in the last four years. I am here to help these children, and solve the murders. I must take over the group, or shut it down completely! I will not allow any of these leaders to continue what they are doing.

    This group needs completely new leadership. I plan to create a new leadership the democratic way. For the people, by the people, so the people will vote every two years. This way no one person can easily take control ever again. I plan to go to Israel soon, and I will not be here, so I will not be the leader anyway. I want to make sure if a group is left here after I leave, it will be a safe group. I have scheduled a meeting at my home June 6-9, 11am-2pm at Private Rd. 2551 Eula Tx. I live about 500 ft. from the front gate of The House of Yahweh. Everyone is invited, including the elders at HOY. We will be discussing the issues at HOY, and setting up new leadership for the group. Everyone concerned about this group should attend. I know there will be News people there as well.

    Bigamy is not Yisrayl Hawkins sin, it’s Murder! Yisrayl Hawkins and the rest of his elders will soon be on a long term prison ministry, Heavenly Father Willing!

    Yisrayl Hawkins is a MURDERER!

    I have posted lots of the information on my website at
    http://www.skipstanley.com/hoy/

    I have been working with The FBI, and Law Enforcement for two years to prove these crimes. I have been investigating Yisrayl Hawkins for four years, and I have proof he has murdered lots of the members of The House of Yahweh. He tells the people in the group they fell away, but really he had them killed. I have proof he has poisoned many of the members, and has been selling children into slavery for sex slaves. If you have information that could help in this investigation please email me the info. yaaqovh@yahoo.com It is important I get the information as well as Shane Deel, because I am very much involved within the group at hoy, and what may not seem important to Shane Deel may be very important to me in piecing together the events surrounding the cases we are investigating.

    Yaaqov Hawkins
    aka Skip Stanley

  94. unreal! Says:

    You know the DA should do DNA testing on all the 40+ childeren Yisrayl Hawkins has with his Numerous child bride wives, Also the Elders in there Multible Marriages,, That would narrow it down, Also they should have a Cival Suit Class Action for all the poisonings pain and suffering,, and if so I WANT IN ON IT……… .. so Please let me know when they sue him…. :)

  95. unreal! Says:

    Still Grieving.. Go to the www reporternews com for information on house of yahweh…. there are alot of members x members there that may could answer some of your questions. Yes members die Im sure but its hard to prove because its a very unhealthy diet and cleansing products that to some do not harm but to others it may kill them, so without Medical counsel one would not know,, and because it was a doomsday cult, they were in constant fear of the End Times, and diseases that they would never go to a doctor as there main concern was to prepare for Nuclear war.. Salt POisoning is for real and everyone including childeren are taking high doses of Salt and dieing from this, and there are True cases in the world That people have Killed others Using the Salt Method as it is something that the Police would not suspect in todays society.

  96. outtathere Says:

    I think it would be excruciating to watch a YH interview. Everyone from there on this blog must know that he wouldn’t say one true thing the entire time, but so many of those watching would believe most of what he says, just because he’s on national television.
    Did Nancy Grace seek him out, I wonder? Why has he agreed to this? He can put on such a show, the snake. No, I don’t think I could bare it!
    Was anyone here at HOY when Texas Monthly came with their cameras and interviewer? I was. YH told us it was Yahweh moving to give the House positive publicity!!! How could he have been so ignorant!? They tore the place up, they trashed it!—as I am sure they planned from the beginning. I still have the copy of the magazine, which came out in the summer of 1997 I think it was. But in spite of the fact that so many knew that so much of what they wrote was true, everyone just said that the devil was behind it all, trying to thwart Yahweh’s work. It was truly pathetic. I don’t remember what YH said exactly, but it had to have been lies and more lies.
    And that’s what this interview will be as well. Unless this is a very savvy woman, I wouldn’t expect anything good to come of it, in terms of HOY exposure. He will be there to present the false positive.

  97. outtathere Says:

    I can attest to the practice of not seeking medical help. I gave birth there with the midwives, and in spite of my labor going on for almost two days, no suggestion was made to send me to a hospital. It’s a wonder my child and I survived.
    Also, I was friends with a woman in the choir who died of cancer, needlessly possibly. She didn’t go to doctors; she got thinner and weaker and sicker, and she never told anyone what was wrong. Finally, YH called a woman from Wisconsin to come down there, an herbalist, who was attempting to treat advanced cancer with herbal medicine. What a joke. She died, in the hospital in Abilene, looking like a holocaust victim, testament to the very real absence of the healing power of the god Yahweh.

  98. unreal! Says:

    Right and recently On the news something Metcald at age 22 died of Child Birth,, and I know the ladies at the HOY who do this.. They couldnt call a doctor if they tried, because they arent never in the world,, How can they even be midwives, They have never been to school, So if the baby quits breathing what kind of medical attention will the baby get, If the mother is bleeding internally how would they know? No monitors blood pressure units nothing.. and mrs Metcalf at age 22 died, this is UNREAL and I wonder how many more babies are buried that is all in secret ……….. who knows!!!!!!!! Its an outrage!!!!!!!1 and they are like OO will just raise you from the dead if you die….. “Cause we are the elect” “We are the called OUT ones”

    There is NO one above the SAVIOR!!!!!!!!!!!!! BUT THIS IS MY OPINION………… sickens me……. I cant wait untill they dig up the grave yard LOL>. Lets find out the real truth!! May be as sickening as Hitler.. who knows….

  99. Yaaqov Says:

    http://www.skipstanley.com/killings.htm

    This list is not complete. If you know someone who has died that is not on the list please email me the info.

    Men:

    1) Miguel: Michael Kusanov: approximate age: 45: his car hit a tree!

    2) Scott Lawson, age 39, his car hit a tree August 2003!

    3) Yaqob Adams, Kinah’s [world name:Maryann Adams] husband: approximate age: 45: hit by car while riding his bicycle.

    4) Katayah’s Wilder’s son: approximate age: 19: car accident.

    5) Elder Abiyyah: approximate age: 65 sickness.

    6) Papa Joe Hyler: approximate age: 55: sickness.

    7) David Richardson: approximate age: 39 died in his apt in Abilene.

    8 ) Delores Metcalf first husband: Jimmy approximate age: 35: murdered: shot while driving in his truck in Arkansas.

    9) David Dimello: approximate age: 55: sickness

    10) Graham Chase age 45 died 2007, apparent suicide?

    11) The Spanish man while working with Matt Stubbs. A trailer fell on top of: approximate age: 35.

    12) Mr. Max Butchee,Sr.: sickness. approximate age: 70.

    13) Rick Tracker: approximate age: 30, shot and murdered

    14) Lester Perkins, the man Elder Stone and Robert Moshe killed in 91:shot.

    15) Anton approximate ages 35, and his friend from Arizona, both shot in the head

    16) John Pride, approx age 65, sickness

    17) Daniel Dimetro: approximate age 60: fell off of a 30 foot ladder under extremely suspicious circumstances, with very conflicting stories.

    18) Mr. Roy Neff: approximate age 69: illness

    19) Bob Blasingame approx. age 60; Heart Failure, while Falling off ladder working, and Yisrayl Hawkins kept ALL his property

    20) Bill Thornton approx. 50; Not sure how he died

    21) Robert Moshe was Poisoned by Yisrayl Hawkins, but did not die, then left the group in 2003, and is now reported as dead.

    22) Yeremiyah Phillips,approximate age: 60, Rhea Chicinah’s husband: illness.

    23)James Boyette - died old age buried at Eula Cemetery.

    24) Harold Roadabaugh, husband of: (Kenrayah/Rose )- died about age 55 in 2004; sudden unknown sickness

    25) Michiyl Betchune, age 50, sickness, died 11/6/2007

    26) Ray Edgin; age 44, murdered in South Carolina 1992

    27) Brian Casey, in his 50’s, dropped dead, Clyde Texas 2003, approx.

    28) Clayton Olds, age 16, died in car accident in 1995.

    29) Baby Rephayah: approx age 4 weeks old: Murder by suffocation.

    30) Yahdah Bowl apporoximate age 35, died 2006, Negligance of care

    Todd Rogers confess to killing another member, and was crying for months before he left the HOY group in 2003, and now is missing, or hiding.

    31) Pheninyah’s Philipino son aged 12 allegedly killed himself after being raped in 1999 by Yisrayl Hawkins and Elder/ Kohan Yahuda, according to numerous accounts/witnesses. [When Yisrayl was asked about this the day it was reported, he told one witness, after they asked him in tears, Pheninyah’s son was raped and murdered??, He Yisrayl Hawkins said on his cell phone very nonchalantly, “oh, he wasn’t murdered, “JUST” raped!”

    Women and Children:

    32) Shabonyah Cole: approximate aged 38: sickness.

    33) Hadassah Jimenez: approximate age 60: sickness.

    34) Lisa Metcalf: approximate age 20: died at the hands of midwives while giving birth to second child, bled to death because Yisrayl Hawkins delayed her medical help.

    35) Wandayah: approximate age: 65:sickness.

    36) Mrs. Cecelia Butchee:: approximate age: 67:sickness.

    37) Rebecca, Elder Abiyyahs wife: sickness

    38) Matheyah’s mother: approximate age: 80: sickness

    39) Perrys mom, Penny Roach: approximate age: 70 sickness

    40) Leah Bowler.approximate age: 39-41: sickness/cancer.

    41) Mrs. Neff: approximate age: 65: illness.

    42) Matt Stubbs firstborn child: approximate age: one month: sudden infant death.

    43) Terri: aged 7: Deziree Kay Gideon daughter: died from surgical procedure performed by mother Deziree Kay Gideon and RN Rebecca Hawkins, Todd Rogers sister.

    44) Marlene Denton (Memaw)- David Hodges mother

    45) Juanita Piker - mother of Delores Metcalf dies of cancer

    46) Wanakee Henry (Nikiyah) (German Mother) died with-in a year after she worked with Anayah, and over heard his conversation, about poor people not being wanted in The House of Yahweh. She left hoy soon after she heard this conversation. 1999-2000 Heart failure. meanwhile yh promised her medical help, but never helped her.

    47) Dorothy Threet (Riyah Rebecca) aged 52,died penniless in Nursing Home in Virginia, 2005.

    48) Deb Johnsman, in her 50’s, died from illness 2000 approx.

    49) Ariyl, in her 60’s, died from diabetes: possibly from the eating of too much honey.

    50) Wanda Davis.

    51) Nanai-Matheyahs’mother, aged approximately 75,died 2003,got sick.

    52) Hazel Thorton, age 60, Sickness

    ——————————————————————————–

    At this point 52 people confirmed dead, and 15 of them murdered! I have reports of more people dead, but I do not have all the names yet. Many of these other people are buried on the grounds, and no death report was made to the State. I need more information on every member that has died in The House of Yahweh, so PLEASE if you have any info e-mail it to me!!!!

    Yaaqovh@yahoo.com

  100. Yaaqov Says:

    The number 8 above was not written as a smiley face, the computer did that apparently the {8)} is seen as a face. sorry. 8)

    Fixed. — Ironwolf

  101. widowsweb Says:

    for some reason I cannot post a link on here so here is the email address for Nancy Grace.

    www dot cnn dot com/ feedback/ forms/ form5 dot html ?81

    Now just write the address out correctly and then you can email your comment to Nancy. Just replace the dots with a . and remove the spaces and you have it.

  102. stillgrieving Says:

    unreal:

    thank you for that info!

    why are they salt poisoning the babies???

    outtathere: Thanks for sharing your story, that mustve been terrible…living there mustve been hell on earth. all of this is giving me MUCH more insight into what’s going on out there. It’s scary & very sad.

  103. Yaaqov Says:

    It is not directly like that. The Pastor teaches to salt every sacrifice, that means all the food and drink you consume, including, your wine, your water, your candy, your icecream, etc…As far as babies go, I do not know what the parents do regarding their babies, giving them salt, hopefully someone who knows about that, can post about it here..Honestly, I have not contemplated how much salt the babies were getting, but do know about the baby that was buried in Abilene:

    http://www.skipstanley.com/killings.htm

    Results of autopsy for infant buried in Callahan not yet available!
    Blanca Cantu / cantub@reporternews.com
    Thursday, August 10, 2006

    Abilene police say full autopsy results for a 1-month-old Abilene boy whose parents allegedly buried him July 7 somewhere in Callahan County have not yet been returned.
    And when the full results do come in, they will be forwarded to Callahan County authorities, who will handle any further investigation. Abilene police are no longer working on the case.

    Abilene police ordered the autopsy from the Tarrant County Medical Examiner’s office after the boy’s father retrieved the boy’s body from a secret burial spot.

    Police believe the boy died in Callahan County during a car ride with his parents, of Abilene. Their names have not been released.

    According to Reporter-News files, a preliminary autopsy report stated the child had died of traumatic asphyxiation - sudden or severe compression of the chest or upper abdomen that prevents breathing. Child Protective Services alerted Abilene authorities after an anonymous caller reported the death during a call to the CPS hotline.

    Officer Brian Trail of the Abilene Police Department told the Reporter-News last month that the boy’s father confirmed the boy died July 7, and cited the Abilene family’s religious beliefs for why the boy’s death and burial were not reported. However, he would not tell investigators where the body was buried, so the father was allowed to retrieve the body.

  104. stillgrieving Says:

    that’s crazy! do you know of a cemetary on the grounds? or is it all top secret?

  105. TheXMember Says:

    It’s a good thing that some people are inspired to investigate deaths. We need that in the world.

    It’s quite another thing to claim that a god is telling you to investigate deaths and take over another man’s cult.

    Anyone claiming to have a god speak to them, and tell them they are on special missions, let me know. I have questions of that god/being/father or whatever the prefered label.

  106. Yaaqov Says:

    Peace to you TheXMember

    I recently received this email, and it is a common reply I receive. I feel it seems to be the views of lots of people. I have taken out the personal names, and some personal information, so I could share it with you.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Hi Yaaqov

    I commend you for trying to help people get out of the HOY. I left years ago after my family member died. Don’t try to take over the HOY. SHUT IT DOWN!! It doesn’t need to go on anymore. It is all a lie. These people need their lives back. They don’t need to be plunged right back into a ‘religion’. That is why people aren’t staying in the state when they leave. They want nothing of another yahweh ‘religion’. MY family are still there. We want them home! The last we heard one of them had become an elder. Sadly, that plunges them in deeper. They are good and caring people inside. You are wrong in wanting to take over HOY even if you would try to make it better and fair. Let the ‘religion’ die! If you really put forth the effort to help people get out of there, karma will pay you back 1000 fold. Do good by these people. don’t feed them a different version of hoy!

    I back you in helping people get free but not in keeping HOY going!

    End of message
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Peace to you

    Thank you for writing. I would like nothing more than completely shutting down the House of Yahweh, and locking the gates. I have counseled with many, many others about this very subject, and even the Sheriff Eddie Curtis believes after YH is gone the group will not get shut down. Our belief is someone will take over the group, and it will only get worse. The State trapped David Koresh in their building, and burned them alive. The Jim Jones group was shut down by committing suicide. This group will survive, because their beliefs are very strong, and there are too many of them. Many have left only quit believing altogether, or went into another group like the Assemblies of Yahweh, and they are getting to be just like HOY. This is why I decided to change my name to Yaaqov, in order to take control over the group. These people turn against their families believing YH is the witness, and do everything he tells them to do with fear, because he is “The Witness of YHWH” so they fear to question him. They need a stronger leader than YH, and this leader need to be one for the people, and not himself.

    Am I the “Chosen One” for this job as one of “The Witnesses”? I really have no proof I am. No God, or Heavenly Being came to me and told me to do anything. I did not ask for the job. I came here twenty years ago to serve the Heavenly Father, learn Scriptures, and help the people. I heard rumors about murders, but refused to listen to them. Two years ago I found solid proof YH was murdering people who stood against him causing trouble. I had a choice to make then; either go away, so I don’t get murdered too, or stand up and fight. I chose to fight, and that meant becoming a witness against Yisrayl Hawkins. This is when I changed my name to Yaaqov. My friends here agreed with this decision, because it would give more power to me to open the minds of the people inside the group. Because now they have two witnesses who both fit into their “Idea” of what they believe in. This has been working very well, and there is an extreme amount of confusion inside the House of Yahweh, and many of the people are siding with me, and turning away from YH. If I did not change my name these people would not be questioning their Faith like they are doing, and would continue thinking they are persecuted for righteousness sake, and would have no where to go.

    I know what it is like to be ex-communicated from your friends and family. I gave everything to Yisrayl Hawkins for six years 1989- 1995, and had hundreds of friends in the group. Then I bring the Dead Sea Scrolls to YH’s attention, and he excommunicated me that same day. I sat and cried, thinking I know I am right, and he is wrong, what is going on. I went from having friends, to being alone, and no one would talk to me. I am sure you can relate to this. I want to make sure this will not occur to any one else. Dissolving this group will just send them down the road to another group, which has already proven it self to be just as bad. I feel dissolving the group is not the answer. Giving them better leadership is the answer.

    I do not know what the Heavenly Father has planned for us, and I really do not know what to teach the people either. I have people already asking me to tell them how to live, and what to do. I just tell them to study, and get involved to help stop YH. I do not even know what I believe. I try to keep the Laws as I understand them, and show love to people by being forgiving. I plan to go to Israel next year, and the people who are left here need to be able to trust the leaders they have, because I do not plan on coming back to straighten out the group again.

    I believe in The American Constitution, and that is what I plan to leave here. A leadership for the people, by the people, and it’s proven to work. With this kind of leadership you will be free to visit your family here without being a tithing member as with HOY. What the people believe is their business, and everyone will be free to speak their minds. This is freedom of Speech, and Religion. Democracy is not a bad word, but controlling leaders do not like it, because they lose their control over the people. I do have a few changes I would make, like voting on the leadership every two years instead of every four years.

    Anyway, what ever becomes of this group, can only get better, because it is as bad as a group could ever get right now.

    Peace to you
    Yaaqov

  107. TheXMember Says:

    Yaaqov,

    Real simple, is a supernatural being talking to you and putting you on special missions?

    If yes, then ask that being to tell you what acronym I have written on the board next to me. This should be very easy, even for the most insignificant supernatural being.

    If no, then why would you want to take over a malicious cult?

  108. TheXMember Says:

    Yaaqov,

    Some of the things you’ve written in the past, plus what you have written here have allowed me to piece together the nature of your hallucination.

    You’re fanaticizing that you are one of the two witnesses. One witness is evil (Yisrayl, Israel) and one witness is good (You, Yaaqov, Jacob) and that whatever being you claim to serve is wanting you to take over “the house”, thus fulfilling a prophecy that you’ve imagined that you found in a religious text (bible, dead sea, etc…)

    You’re wasting your precious time, resouces and life chasing an illusion in exactly the same way that Yisrayl has wasted his life and the lives of the people that trusted him.

  109. outtathere Says:

    I’m with you, X. It’s all one big crock of crap.

  110. outtathere Says:

    I wish the people there could simply get even a small inkling about how ridiculous the House of Yahweh is, and how utterly insignificant in the grand scheme of things. It is nothing. And Yisrayl Hawkins is nothing. And all their holy writings are mostly fiction. And their precious Yahweh does not now, and never did exist. It’s a shocker, I tell you. Only comes to the ones who want the whole truth.

    X was right, Yaaqov. You’re wasting your life with this stuff. As is everyone else. I don’t expect anyone still “believing” to see it this way, but there you have it, it’s my strong opinion.