So a while back I asked for the real reasons for why some people are against legalizing same-sex marriage. Unfortunately, no-one responded and I had to end up debunking an anti-gay marriage web site’s answers. Well, still no-one’s answered so I did a little more digging and discovered the answers are already out there, as seen on Reddit. So finally, here are the top 12 reasons why gay marriage should be illegal:
- Homosexuality is not natural, much like eyeglasses, polyester, and birth control.
- Heterosexual marriages are valid because they produce children. Infertile couples and old people can’t legally get married because the world needs more children.
- Obviously, gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
- Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage is allowed, since Britney Spears’ 55-hour just-for-fun marriage was meaningful.
- Heterosexual marriage has been around a long time and hasn’t changed at all; women are property, blacks can’t marry whites, and divorce is illegal.
- Gay marriage should be decided by people, not the courts, because the majority-elected legislatures, not courts, have historically protected the rights of the minorities.
- Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That’s why we have only one religion in America.
- Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
- Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
- Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That’s why single parents are forbidden to raise children.
- Gay marriage will change the foundation of society. Heterosexual marriage has been around for a long time, and we could never adapt to new social norms because we haven’t adapted to things like cars or longer life-spans.
- Civil unions, providing most of the same benefits as marriage with a different name are better, because a “separate but equal” institution is always constitutional. Separate schools for African-Americans worked just as well as separate marriages for gays and lesbians will.
“Heterosexual marriages are valid because they produce children.” I also love this particular gem of logic, because it completely ignores the fact that “god” sits idly on his throne in the 3rd heaven and completely ignores the many abortions that take place on this planet every day. Not to mention the number of children who die every day due to malnourishment, disease, war or any number of other equally pointless tragedies. Of course, we know that “god” hates homosexuals/lesbians just as much as he hates children (even and especially the unborn), because of the various afflictions imposed on such “sinners” (disease, social stigma, death, etc.), which he does not specifically impose on those who break “laws” that he meticulously and succinctly spells out and for which he supposedly prescribes specific consequences. (There isn’t even a stone-chiseled “Thou shalt not” in regard to homosexuality — just the typical cut-and-paste scriptural hopscotch. But of course, we all know that AIDS is the “gay plague” — and simply “a natural effect of an unnatural act”…) I could write a lot more here, but I will leave it at that.