G. Morrison
Dear Robert,
Thank you for your blog and I am pleased to enclose a few words regarding my personal story:
My mum joined the WCG when I was 4 years old in the early ’70s following her marriage breakdown with my father. She was a bright scientist (a nuclear physicist), but she had become disillusioned with life in general, when she was “called.” Ironically, it was Dad, a fierce atheist who introduced her to the WCG with the “Plain Truth.” She started attending the Paris congregation in France where she made many friends. She obviously started to reject the scientific community altogether and she became a fierce creationist.
You have to understand that being a churchgoer is not an easy thing in France. Is not as acceptable as say, attending Church in “the Bible Belt” in the US. France is a highly secular country— in fact it is now illegal to display religious symbols in schools and state buildings such as city halls. As the result of her religious convictions (mainly in connection with Christmas and “clean food”) she became alienated from her family and friends.
Going to school was a nightmare for me, as we had lessons on Saturdays which I was missing as a result of the Church teachings. I was a very bright kid, and I wanted to join medical school to become a GP, unfortunately because of a combination of the Church teachings and missing school on Saturdays, I did not pursue a medical career, and I’ve become an environmental scientist instead.
There were things that I really liked at WCG like going to SEP and something that I really hated, which was being sexually abused (fairly mildly though) by another Church member, who had befriended my mother. She was single, as she had separated from my father at that point, so she became an ideal target for this predatory man. My mum never really paid attention when I raised the issue with her. The local Pastor probably knew that the man was a paedophile since he was never allowed to serve as a staff member at the French SEP for children aged 7 to 11 years old. He was nevertheless allowed to stay in the Congregation. Perhaps the Minister was hoping that the man might “repent fully.” He eventually was kicked out of the Church for “not understanding the scriptures fully.”
I faithfully attended Church until 19 years old when I asked the local pastor to be baptized, but he replied that I was not “ready yet.” Yet, I never went back to his office for baptism counseling.
I then went to University and “became wild” by Church standards. Binge-drinking and enjoying promiscuous activities were some of the nice recreational activities I began to take pleasure in, partly to rebel against the WCG.
The mid-nineties saw an implosion of the WCG and, and whilst I was relieved that the Church was taking a more liberal view of the World, I started to reject it completely and became very angry with the way the top leadership (Mr Tkach, et al) could turn things around the way they did. For christsake, we were not allowed to celebrate Christmas, and suddenly it was “OK” to commemorate the birth of Christ! We could even eat pork, and other related products with the “New Covenant!” Women, who had been treated as second-class citizens, were suddenly allowed to have a “Women Ministry!” I am still deeply angry about this, as the WCG robbed me of my childhood by not allowing me to celebrate Christmas, eat what other kids ate and repeatedly telling me that I should “obey” my future husband! I cannot recall a single birthday celebration in my house when I was a child.
Despite all this I am a very happy married woman with two wonderful young children. I now live in Ireland, a very religious country, which is ironically currently badly hit by the scandal relating to priests abuse in the Catholic Church. As Gore Vidal nicely puts it, I am a “Born-again atheist.” I am not against religion per se, as I can see its function in the community. I nevertheless hate anything which has a Church connotation: the politics of priesthood and hierarchy, the rituals, the hymns, etc. The sexual abuse, however how mild it was, has had a deep impact on me. I cannot trust anyone, especially other kids’ dads. I worry when my kids go to other kids’ house for sleepovers (is this a term you’re familiar with in the US?). [Yes!]
Thanks again for reading my story and feel free to publish it on your site.
Kind regards.
G. Morrison
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December 9th, 2009 at 6:38 am
G. Morrison,
This letter addresses your personal story. As a young girl, I grew up in WRC in the U.S. Midwest in the 60s and 70s. My challenges were a little different than yours, as living in the Bible Belt supported the fanatic beliefs of Armstrong. However, my younger sister and I felt isolated from the ‘worldly’ children at school as we didn’t observe Christmas and could not wear mini skirts and make up, like other teenage girls in the seventies. Those were the differences on the surface. Deep inside we felt inferior, unloved and thought we were the worst examples of sin that God ever allowed on the planet. We were from a mixed marriage, which was constantly condemned in church.
I am now 52 years old, a successful attorney in Southern California and happily divorced with two incredible sons, who are being raised to be free thinkers. I am happy in every sense of the word, but that happiness has taken years and years to obtain. My path of ‘deprogramming’ involved lots of caring therapists, terrific friends and mostly–obtaining my education. In my law practice, I have had the opportunity to get to know many people raised in the 60s and found that even without the WCG in their lives, they, too lead lives that were painful and unproductive. Perhaps this shouldn’t mitigate the damage that WCG has done, but it somehow makes us all one big community of survivors.
My childhood was a nightmare and was primarily due to my parents’ involvement in WCG, but at the time they were recruited, they were young, ignorant and vulnerable. Neither one had a healthy self esteem and they were the perfect type for the kind of mind control that WCG and all its’ ‘leaders’ enjoyed.
Thank you for sharing your story. It helped me feel better about my own.
Iris in San Diego
December 11th, 2009 at 2:38 pm
Dear Iris,
Thank you for your post and sharing your experience.
I agree with your point that there are a lot of unhappy people out there and this without necessarily attending the WCG. Of course depression, anger and feelings of “not fitting in” can affect people from all walks of life. Conversely, people who attend the WCG can lead relatively productive and happy lives, despite their superstitious beliefs.
I also agree with your comment about the emotional state of people who were “recruited” in the WCG. As your parents, my mother was young and had a very low self-esteem. She was also very vulnerable following the break-up of her marriage. Beside, everyone is allowed to make mistakes after all, and this, despite the deep and negative consequences that it may have on others.
I guess I find very hard to come to terms with the way I struggled to “fit in” as a child. Like you I felt inferior compared to other children. Life was difficult enough as it was, without having the (very heavy) burden of pleasing God in every way possible (eating appropriate food, attending boring church services, fasting at a very early age, etc) and being occasionally sexually abused at the age of 8! Why would anyone in a position of authority allow a known paedophile to prey on young children is beyond me! Of course I cannot prove that the minister knew about this man, but I have the deep feeling that the Church had some knowledge of his inappropriate behaviour. Having said that, the avoidance of scandals was a priority in the early 80’s for the WCG. You could argue that these happens things happen in the wider community, but I believe that the special trust that the church members were encouraged to build towards one another was fostering an ideal playground for abusers.
Quite frankly I would love to forget about the WCG. How do I go about it? How can I get rid of the deep anger that I am currently experiencing about the b******t I was taught for so many years? Maybe I should count my blessings and consider myself lucky to have escaped on time . Yes, I should be very thankful that my own children have not been inflicted with “moral values”, such as sexism, racism and homophobia. I can see through your post that it is a long process of self-reconciliation, but you seem positive. My heart goes out to you and your family as it cannot have been easy, to say the least, to attend the WCG at times of such institutionalized racial prejudice. Thanks again for sharing your thoughts.
March 10th, 2010 at 9:20 am
Hello G.
I just wanted to say that I think I know you from SEP and trips to stay with families in France. My name is Ruth and I am about the same age as you I think, from England. Am I right?
Anyway, I’ve sent my own story in now which I guess Robert will add to the blog in time, but jut wanted to say how touched I was to read yours, and how sad you experienced those things as a child. I remember only a lovely young teenager, if I’m thinking of the right person.
I am sure you are a wonderfully caring mother to your own children, and just want to say that you are making a fresh start for them which won’t be tainted by all of this, just strengthened by your passion to give them something good and open. I just want to send you every strength as you do that, and to say enjoy it along the way.
As a mum myself to two beautiful boys, I do sometimes feel I’m embarking on a completely new journey, but we are all learning together and stay close and keep talking. I’m just glad I had the chance to do this in my own way, not dominated by views which would have warped our experience.
I entirely know what you mean about forgetting about the past. Personally I don’t think I can do that. But I can let it only be a very small strand of who I am, and absolutely determine that I will write my own story even if I didn’t choose the circumstances where we began. Wishing you courage, strength and lots of love and happiness in your life now.
ruth xx