Gwen
Hello,
I grew up from an infant in the WCG. I remember moving from Texas at about 3 and going to church at The Cotillion Ballroom in Wichita, KS. I was put out of my mother’s home at age 14 when I began to question why church officials such as Charles Reitmeier were allowed to beat me and my sisters. My older two sisters have passed away very young and most of their adult life was spent hating and hurting over things done to us as children. Both of them spent many years on drugs and self medication to bury what was done to us. I have spent many years wondering if we were just singled out because we were weak or whether it was because we were poor.
I had a sister who died a long, horribly painful death in 1965— as you know doctors were evil and possessed by Satan. I was the youngest of the four and remember beatings for such minor infractions as speaking to someone when I was not asked a question. I remember coming home from a “feast” and there being fleas in the house due to a construction project near our home. Mother beat me and beat me because I was scratching and refused to believe it was fleas— she even said, “I will beat the devil out of you; there can be nothing else making you scratch like that.”
We spent many years living with my grandmother who also paid the price for WCG and Herbert Armstrong’s fanaticism. Mother physically abused her and took her social security checks, most times she gave the bulk of the money to the church and we went without food or clothing other than some rags she picked up from other members of the church who felt sorry for us. The remainder was spent on new clothing for herself or gifts for her “boyfriends” who she also put before her daughters. Anything we did get from anyone that was not a rag was given to the most prominent person she could find that would take it.
There was an older man who went to church with us that was like a grandfather to me. I called him Grandpa Smith. He is the only truly warm and loving memory of the church that I have.
I am happily married now, have been for 23 years to a man who has listened to my horror stories and held me while I cried. We have 3 sons and they are all aware of the evil that was done and have been taught that church and God are not always what the are portrayed to be. We do not practice an organized religion although we do have a belief in a spiritual being. He refuses to accept my mother’s excuses for what she allowed done to us and we both agree she is not welcome in our home. She has left WCG from what I am told, but has never accepted responsibility for what she allowed them to do to us. Her only explanation for 48 years is “I didn’t know any better.” Brainwashed? No, just inherently evil. To this day she will not tell me who my biological father is and still holds to the belief that she is not accountable.
Have any of the abusers ever faced charges or been brought into the light for the world to see who they really are? I have a list of names but the above person (Reitmeier) is the one who stands out greatest in my mind. The damage he did to my oldest sister’s body in the name of God is unforgivable. The mental damage done to all of us is unforgivable.
I remember a few that were good to us or tried to be. The Haines family from Wellington and the Woodbridges were good kind people. The Boren family from Wichita and Mrs. Garcia. The rest are all a blur, just people I was terrified of. Did the rest of the people know? Did they care? Would they have intervened if they did know? How do I forgive and forget? How do I even just forgive?
Gwen Talmadge
Explore posts in the same categories: Personal Story
December 29th, 2009 at 10:43 am
Wow, I am truly sorry that EVER happened to you.
And if the owner of this website wishes to publish this then great; if not, I will not be offended: As a Christian (no I am not here to preach, convert, etc), I feel awful for what you have been exposed to and it makes me mad. Even if you only take this for face value, know that you are in my prayers.
December 29th, 2009 at 12:05 pm
Hi Gwen,
I don’t know if the people knew, but they probably did. We had a child molester in our congregation. Everyone knew he had a thing for little girls. He molested me and my 2 sisters. The ministers knew, the congregation knew-no one did a thing. I don’t understand why either. His behavior was definitely against church ‘law’.
December 29th, 2009 at 12:13 pm
Hi Gwen – what a nightmare! It’s sickening that people like your Mother lost their brains, and sense of right and wrong due to Church indoctrination. What you and your siblings had to endure was high level child abuse. I too have a Mother who wont ever step down from her Church moral high ground/brainwashed state and accept responsibility for how we were raised. Though they left the church nearly 30 years ago she has stuck with her denial as a matter of habit.
I think it’s impossible to ever forget…unless of course you suppress the memory. I don’t have many memories of my childhood, and I think I naturally did suppress many of the negative experiences. I still get edgy around Christmas and my birthday – just because it was so stressful not being normal as a kid, and celebrating those days (even though I do now).
You asked ‘how do I forgive’? Firstly it’s hard to forgive someone who doesn’t apologise. However the only way I’ve been able to forgive is to live totally in the present and looking forward. Looking back at WCG (which I did for a very long time) eats your life up. I think it’s important to look back at it, acknowledge the experience, the pain and the angst….but then there needs to be a step forward away from the WCG too. Geez I hope that makes sense!
One thing we can take out of this bad experience is strength of character. Gwen you have an amazingly strong nature to be able to stand up to those WCG officials as a 14 year old! You deserve a gold medal for guts! Draw on that strength again to help pull yourself out of the abyss that your Mother put you in. When you can see the light ahead you’ll be able to ‘put the pain, anger and fear to the side’ and move forward. You won’t feel like you need an apology. You’ll be looking forward in your life – with the wonderful man and a family that you deserve.
BIG HUGS xx
January 4th, 2010 at 12:39 pm
Hi Gwen, I just read your comment and I can recall as if it just happened yesterday….all of the horror. I remember being made to kneel on a tile floor until I passed out. I remember when my daughter was born in 1994 and I remember the first time I was watching her sleep, so innocent, so absolutely helpless and defenseless and you know you would die 10 times to protect her from all harm……and it hit me right then. So much that I called my hen father and asked him point blank how he could have beat me to the point that I turned green, blue and black???? He said he had
o choice it was the will of god. (no caps on purpose) And I like you will NEVER, NEVER, EVER forget or FORGIVE!! I have actually felt as if I’ve been absolved after reading this website and others like it. I had NO IDEA of the ehind the scenes actions of the ministers. I do know one flirted with my father openly in front of her husband ( my dad then) and he did nothing. But now that I have read all this crap and realized that the Armstrongs were just a couple of bastards and who I’m quite sure have a place reserved in whatever hell I hope is waiting for them. I…WE had NO childhood and I have made sure that my daughter and stepdaughter had a great childhood. I’m so happy they have memories. My wife comes from a well to do family and they are very big on family values. She has all the right memories of her childhood and has really helped cope with my nightmares. I hate EVERYTHING, EVERYTHING about my childhood. Since their god said turn the other cheek I was not allowed to fight in school even in self defense! If I did I was BEAT with a leather strap until my back and backside bled. literally…. It doesn’t take long for high school boys to figure out they could pick on you and you would not retaliate. I endured 3 years of PURE TORTURE until I left home at 16 to live with my aunt in Wisconsin. That was when I realized that people LIKE me! I could make them laugh and they did not think I was a weirdo because I couldn’t even celebrate my birthday! Not ONE birthday cake. No Santa. We got SCREWED Gwen! ANd I hate them all, every jack one of them. I would LOVE to be face to face with some of my tormenters from our church. That’s right the church. The teens were some of the meanest and vilest and the worst was the ministers sons. I would love to face the minister that would come by if my parents missed their tithe payment. They came by like a bill collector…anyway I dont mean to go off on a rant but it’s easy with the shit we endured. My therapist said it was one of the worse cases of brainwashing and torture she had ever heard of. You remember dont you? We got beat for just speaking! We were NOT allowed to talk at the dinner table or any meal for that matter. You were not allowed to have an opinion either. I used to wonder WHY the hell did my parents have 4 kids, ( 3 conceived at the Feast in Big Sandy) when we were treated like crap. I dunno! ANyway again I am AMAZED that other kids endured almost the same crap. Sorry to ramble,
Your friend who understands
JD
January 4th, 2010 at 12:41 pm
Gwen, the minister was flirting with my MOTHER (lol) not my father! sry
January 4th, 2010 at 10:03 pm
I’m hearing you JD!
I wish we could all get together to talk about this face to face – it would be so cathartic. Does anyone know of any support groups where that can happen? I’m in Australia by the way!
January 6th, 2010 at 11:46 am
Angela,
You could try Meetup.com.