Non-Believer Former Members of the Worldwide Church of God

Wow. I had no idea there were so many former Worldwide Church of God members out there and especially had no idea how many had become atheist like myself. Finding your blog has somehow made me feel relieved because for so long I felt like I was the only one dealing with these personal and religious issues related to “the church.” I guess I had it lucky because after reading some of these posts I had no idea how strict and violent others were in enforcing the rules of the church. Reading all these other stories has made me want to write my own, perhaps just to help get some of these issues off my chest.

My parents both attended and met at Ambassador in Pasadena. I know my mom’s parents started going to the church in the 60’s when she was a child, but don’t know much before that. My dad started going to the church after he got back from Vietnam but I don’t really know how he found it. They don’t really like to talk about it either, although they have apologized to me for bringing me up in the church.

I grew up in the church in the Atlanta area, but towards the end of its run as the united WCG (before it split up.) I was born in 1983 if that gives you a point of reference. I have very vivid memories of the church because, as probably everyone knows that’s reading this, the church was your life. All my friends were in the church, I grew up thinking I was going to have to marry a girl in the church, and for the most part was excluded from participating in activities with kids outside the church.

We never celebrated birthdays. I remember being so jealous of other kids at school. They always brought in cupcakes to share with the other kids and I never understood why I wasn’t allowed to celebrate my own. The first birthday I remember celebrating is when I was 10 and I remember my mom made me a cake and my parents got me a card but that was all. By that point, the early 90’s, the church was really starting to fall apart and so I guess my parents felt less obligated to enforce the rules.

I was never vaccinated for anything as a child as I guess this was standard practice in the church, and I remember it was always a big ordeal to get me into public schools. I was sick all the time as a child, but somehow I think this worked out in my favor as now that I’m an adult I never get sick. I remember when I did get sick we didn’t go the doctor but would call our local deacon and he would come out and anoint me with some kind of oil on a cloth and say a prayer.

It was always difficult making friends and having to try to explain how I didn’t celebrate Christmas or Halloween or any of the other holidays that most kids did. And how I went to this thing called the Feast and met with other church members for a week every year. I have many memories of sitting in the corner with the Jehovah’s witness boy, that always seemed to be in my class, coloring some generic picture while everyone else made ornaments or went on Easter egg hunts. Not to mention not being able to watch TV or listen to music from Friday at sundown till Sunday, so having friends over outside the church was pretty much inconceivable.

I also remember the 3 tithes. But not really understanding why I had to give up so much of the little money I had as a child to the church. One time I remember my father and mother getting in a big fight because the company he worked for was requiring all the employees to come in and work on a Saturday and of course he said he couldn’t go into work because he had to go to church. He ended up losing his job because of that. He would rather go to church and lose his job than face the wrath of God I guess, that’s something I still don’t understand.

My last memory of the church, because it’s the last time we went to the church, was from about the mid 90’s when things were going down hill fast and grace was a point of contention. Which I now understand was basically the adding of the teaching of the new testament. There was a big outburst during the service and someone got a bullhorn and was passing it around so members of the congregation could voice their opinion on the matter. It was pure madness and we didn’t go back after that. My grandparents still attend the church as do a few other family friends.

There’s so many other stories I have about the church, but I feel like these are the most vivid in my mind. In some ways it’s so nice to hear others’ stories because I’ve felt so alone and lost for so long, because of the church. I’m 26 now, and lead a pretty normal life but I find I have trouble relating to most people because once you get past small talk if anyone asks about my childhood I have to drudge up these stories that seem to make most people sorry they asked. Thanks for making this blog, it’s nice to know I’m not alone. I would love to talk with anyone my same general age that has had a similar experience to my own or possibly reconnect with friends I had in the church but haven’t talked to in years. You can email me at barnes9000@gmail.com.

Ben Barnes

This entry was posted on Sunday, January 10th, 2010 at 1:01 am and is filed under Personal Story. You can subscribe via RSS 2.0 feed to this post's comments. You can comment below, or link to this permanent URL from your own site. Your comments must be approved by the moderator before they will appear.