When I went to visit my perfect grandfather— the most beautiful human that walked the earth on his death bed— I sat next to him and held his hand and we talked. He still had a month or so to live. He started to cry… it was only the second time in my life I heard or saw him cry. He told me he was confused about what was going on in “the church” and I asked him what he meant. He had been back and forth from the nursing home to the hospital for a while. He said, “People keep coming to me telling me different things. Some say we can work on the Sabbath and some say we can’t, and it is scaring and confusing me; I do not know what to think about it.” Here was an 80 year-old man dying of cancer, who would never work again any-damn-way! He was the most perfect human I will ever know, who did not know how to read and write, and had to rely on others any way for what the bible says, and these a-holes from both sides were at his death bed fighting for him as a member of their church. It made my blood boil!!

I hugged him and told him of his life, and pointed out what kind of person he was. There was never a person I met who had a bad word about my grandfather— every one loved him: the most gentle honest beautiful soul in my lifetime. I told him of what a wonderful father, grandfather, great grandfather, husband he was. I told him he WAS the reason I knew there was love in the world. I told him if there is a God in heaven, he would know my grandfather and of his great ways. Don’t worry pop pop, what ever the truth is, you are in it, you are it, you are love. I held him and I told him this and it was the last talk I ever had with him. The next time I saw him was at his funeral, and my dad and my cousin gave a wonderful eulogy, and many many people came to see him off. But one person there, a minister (I don’t remember his name) talked of how no matter what was happening in the church my grandfather stayed true to the church until the end, even though others tried to tempt him. I could have gotten up and beat the crap out of that man for turning my grandfather’s funeral into a recruiting tool!! That was the beginning of the end for me. I didn’t know it then— I have so many more things I could say… later maybe. But when I watched that young lady talk on YouTube about her grandfather’s funeral it brought back all those old feelings.

It’s a good thing to share what we walked through in this life with others. It’s good to know others know what we and out loved ones went through.

3 thoughts on “Lesa”

  1. I had similar experiences when my father died. Even though he had left (been thrown out) of the Church about 10 years previously, he never quite dropped a lot of the ideas. He studied the Bible and came up with his own ideas about love and grace being more important than law keeping — similar to what WCG decided. Now if they had followed my dad they could have come to this belief system much sooner than they did……
    But near the end he started to get more judgemental in his beliefs. I told him it was all garbage. He actually told me I would be seeing him again at the right hand of Jesus and I would be judged for my life (by him and Jesus). I told him his ideas were ridiculous. Now I wish I hadn’t said that. I think when a person is old and close to death it is really bad to make them doubt their beliefs. Because they don’t have time to come up with new beliefs, and may be feeling confused and fearful, it is not the time for serious religious discussions. Now I don’t even know if I believe in an afterlife at all, but it has taken me many years to accept this.

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