HD
Big Sandy, TX
I had no idea we all had the same childhood.
I was born into WCG in 1974, the child of two members who had been brought in as teens by their parents. We moved to Big Sandy in 1982. I had a feeling for as long as I could remember that this was all fundamentally wrong. Although there were several “radars” (that was the name given to us from the local townsfolk) that shared my childhood and with whom I was close friends, it never seemed to lessen the feeling that I was a freak. (What six-year-old is paralyzed with guilt for eating a Twix during the Days of Unleavened Bread?) Attending church services and participating in YES and YOU didn’t lessen that feeling. The children of AC faculty were considered the shining youth of the church, while the rest of us were tolerated. It is almost an amusing memory now.
Not all the experiences were quite so warm and fuzzy. There was the poor white trash experience of extreme beans and cornbread poverty. Luckily there was such a thing as “Used Clothing” at AC, where all the poor sheep could peruse the more fortunate members’ cast-offs. Then there was the death of my grandmother, who chose to treat her operable cancer with enzyme powders and prayer. Don’t forget the death of a childhood acquaintance from appendicitis… in his parents’ driveway. Because they chose to treat his illness with mineral water and prune juice. For two weeks. Beatings, sexual abuse, YOU dances, and Rod Meredith ranting about the demon-possessed rock music. No birthdays, holidays, valentines, school functions, birthday presents, Christmas presents, Cajun-boiled shrimp…
I left at seventeen. My mother and younger siblings followed soon after. (The bible-wielding psycho father had quit long ago to dabble in the Aryan Brotherhood.) Like so many of the posts I have read I have done the obligatory searching through drugs, alcohol, and mainstream religion.
I find myself now a 32-year-old agnostic with atheistic tendencies still living ass-deep in the middle of the Bible Belt. I refuse to attend any church for any reason. I am married to a lapsed Penecostal (who has many similar stories.) In spite of my deliberate Sabbath-breaking and pepperoni consumption, I feel that I am a good person. I am a good mother. I am a good step-mother. I am a good wife, sister, and daughter. I am a good nurse who cares for profoundly handicapped children. I am one hell of an independent thinker.
I still can’t for the life of me understand why our parents chose to remain in an organization that bankrupted them and micro-managed every miniscule aspect of their lives. I have enjoyed immensely the demise of the great WCG. Sometimes I giggle for no apparent reason at all. And in case you were wondering, Big Sandy is now just a boring, sleepy little East Texas town with absolutely nothing of interest to the majority of the world. I am thrilled.
E-mails are welcome.
Explore posts in the same categories: Personal Story
April 2nd, 2007 at 9:01 am
I am the “lapsed pentecostal” mentioned above. While our experiences growing up were similar, I can’t truly say I understand all you’ve went through. I can say , yes you are a wonderful mother, daughter and sister.
You are also the most amazing woman I have ever known. You are my best friend and my loving wife. I love you.
January 17th, 2008 at 5:39 pm
The only thing I can disagree with (Pepperoni Eater! LOL) is that the children of AC faculty were the golden child. This was far from true, at least in Pasadena. I am a child of a former AC Faculty member and I went to Imperial. I was treated as if I was the dog poop on the bottom of their shoes that they didn’t see and would not acknowledge. I was simply a vague smell they did not like. I share a lot of the same childhood memories as most of these posters - and thankfully find humor in the carob hating, matzoh expert (my personal favorite was the onion w/ soft butter), toaster cleaning, never made it through a full day of Atonement, in other words, people like me.