Kayla
Baltimore, MD, US
My name is Kayla, I was born into the WCG in 1982. I found your site tonight when I decided to look for some type of support group for people who were raised in this cult. it feels so awesome to finally know there are people who went through the same teachings and are as screwed up as I am.
I have known for the longest time deep down that the teachings of WCG were such bull. I am still living in fear of the teachings because I still have family trapped in that church. All the posts I read on your site all talk about mothers being the one who was first brainwashed by these teachings. My father was and still is. I have a sister still trapped in the middle of it. From Ministers telling my father to beat us more often because we had demons in us, to being an outcast from my known universe of the WCG because my mother left my father. Divorce was a sin but in my parents case WCG said it was an acceptable one because my mother stole tithe money to feed and clothe her 5 small children. My mother married young and had no way to support all us children when she finally left my father and WCG. The whole congregation came together to help support my father after the divorce and of course remind all us impressionable children that my mother was not chosen and we should think she is evil for leaving us and stealing from “THE CHURCH”. Which of course made the beatings and mental abuse worse. I remember being young and watching “The World Tomorrow” TV show with my father and siblings. I can’t remember if it was on Friday nights before sundown, or Saturday mornings before church. It feels like ages ago. I left my father’s house and the WCG at the age of 16. I ran away from it all. I stayed at friends houses and slept on the street. Anything to get away from the abuse. I was finally picked up by the police and brought back home 4 months after my escape. I self-medicated with drugs. Anything to make myself numb. I dropped out of school and later got my GED. I am still struggling with trying to go back to college. I left my father’s house and “the church” at 18 and moved in with my boyfriend, which turned out to be 4 years of a different type of abuse— not an abusive relationship, it was more like self-abuse. I had a deep depression and always thought what I was doing was wrong, “I was living in SIN”. The teachings of WCG were still imprinted in my brain. It’s weird I am now newly married as of November ‘06. I met and fell in love with a man who has never heard of WCG. When I tell him stories about how I was raised and the teachings it baffles him on how some people can be so weak-minded. For years I thought I was okay I survived unscratched! This past February I started having panic attacks followed by deep depression where I almost attempted suicide, Only to finally realize I have been suppressing the abuse from WCG for way too long. If it was not for my wonderful husband trying his damn best to comfort me and listen to the horrors of this church and the abuse it plainly told it’s followers to afflict on their children. I have just recently found a therapist to help me come to grips on all this crap. I don’t know what else to call it but CRAP.
I live in the Baltimore, Maryland area and would love to make or find some type of support group for other survivors of WCG. When I found your site tonight it was like a light in the darkness. OMG there are other people just like me. Please E-mail me back with your comments or thoughts and please feel free to post this on your site. I am not ashamed. others had a choice to join WCG or one of its splinters, I and like many others was born into this “idiocracy” (to Quote the title of an awesome movie and my idea of what the world would be like if WCG ever ruled it.) Let the truth be known to any teenager or child who can use a computer: you can get help! You can leave and have a better life where you are treated with respect because you think with your own mind.
Explore posts in the same categories: Personal Story
October 12th, 2007 at 10:32 pm
Hi Kayla. I went for a few month with my wife to the “Potters House Christian Center” in Perth/Australia. I figured it is a cult as well.They have certain rules for dressing at church services.I thought what a lot of bull ! I am not going to any church anymore.I believe there is god and Jesus, and I try to live as a decent honest person.But church ? No more! They told us not to drink and not to smoke. I drink and I smoke ! Where do they get all this stupid ideas from ? Even in the Bible is written that Jesus turned water into wine!!!!!! So,they drank alcohol !!!!! At a fellowship at someones private house,there was no beer or anything alcoholic wich is fair enough. But coffey is allowed !!! Coffey is a drug,too !!! So,where do you draw the line? I realized this church is crap,as so many others. As far as I know,the day they call Sabbath is a holy day.Sabbath is actually Saturday ! But all the churches run Sundays!!! That is why I stay away from this bullshit and live an honest peaceful live without any brainwashing. And I am much happier now.My wife is going to a different church with the kids. It seems to be a harmless church,but I had enough of churches. I wish you all the best for your future.Just forget the crap and live a life as you want,not as others want. Regards,Heiko
October 24th, 2007 at 12:40 pm
My son 30 years old is now involved with this Restored Church of God, an off shoot from the World cg. If there is anyone out there that can help me talk w/my son I would appreciate any help. He is about to leave his wife and this church is tearing our family appart. I really need help. I don’t even want him to come home. This church is reinforcing him to choose the church over his family.
October 25th, 2007 at 3:21 pm
This comment has been deleted for preaching.
October 25th, 2007 at 3:23 pm
Luta Duncan, You can contact me at eric777100763@aol.com
October 27th, 2007 at 8:13 pm
In response to Eric Smith- Keep in mind the first two words in this web sites name: “Non-Believers…”.
The posters in this forum by and large have endured some very traumatic events in their lives as a direct result of religious experience. If their atheism was formented as a result of their experience with WCG or if they arrived at their decision and non-belief simply through critical thinking, either way, it doesn’t matter. It is a moot point, and that decision should be respected.
Apart from there differences of opinion regarding a god-figure, I notice another very big difference in atheists and christians. from my experiences, atheists tend to be very respectful of others beliefs. If you feel the need to believe in a higher power, that’s fine, and as long as you don’t try to impose it on us, you wont hear a word about it from most atheists. So many christians; however, feel the need to poke and prod at the atheist in an attempt to convert him and correct him and get him to “see the light”. Simple fact of the matter is, we (atheists) don’t “see” your light, we don’t “want” your light, and we don’t “need” your light.
When you say “Perhaps you should check out who Jesus is” you imply that somehow the poster is in the wrong for having their personal feelings and beliefs. It sounds just a bit condescending, as if you who “know who jesus is” are on some higher level than the rest of us.
You say that it is “obvious to anyone that the WCG was full of errors”, (another slightly condescending line) so I wonder, if it was so obviously erroneous, why didn’t your Jesus step up to bat and say “let me help you out by showing you the right way”? Most of the posters here had faith, and belief. If your Jesus really wants them to have this “gift”, why can’t he just bestow it on them?! After all, they HAD faith, why punish the majority for the corruption of a few?!
In closing, My intent was not to be confrontational, but rather to suggest that most of us have been through an ordeal that few can relate to and it has changed our lives. We don’t need to be badgered by proselytizing missionaries.
To paraphrase your post above, “I will share a thought: Perhaps…” you should leave well enough alone.
November 4th, 2007 at 6:27 am
Well done Kayla! Keep taking care of yourself. Like you, I left at 16 - and have also found that it takes years to right yourself. I would be happy to correspond if you’re looking for support.
melissa.stoner@gmail.com
November 4th, 2007 at 6:40 am
And to Luta Duncan: I don’t know of any resources for talking someone out of entering this cult or its offshoots, though this website and others are certainly the best anecdotal evidence against it. But perhaps a more moderate and experienced theologian (minister, rabbi, priest) could show him this ways in which this cult is terribly un-Christian in its practices. Do you or your son have a relationship with anyone like that who he would trust? And if not, and he’s really hell-bent on going into that church, his family would be sadly fortunate if he would leave them for the church. What it encourages “heads of households” to do to their families is terrible, and I would want your daughter-in-law and grandchildren to be spared that.
November 4th, 2007 at 1:59 pm
Eric,
There are plenty of places on the net where you are welcome to preach, but not here. Your preaching has been removed.
November 10th, 2007 at 9:15 pm
Hi
I’ve just been doing some research on the Living Church of God and come across this website. I am trying to understand more about what it teaches. I have a close friend who has recently joined and has given me booklets to read as well. I don’t think he would lie to me…what I have been told so far sounded okay. About the sabbath day, some tithe…what am I missing? Your blogs don’t have specifics of the teachings. I was brought up Catholic, but no longer belong to that. I hope I don’t offend anyone by posting my comment. I’m just not sure whether I should be trying to remove my friend or not??? It’s very confusing : (
November 12th, 2007 at 2:34 am
Elle, I can’t comment on the Living Church, as I grew up in the WCG and am not familiar with the other. One thing right off the top of my head though, tithe…. I would be wary of that. Don’t make an investment in someone elses future.
There’s a link to my email in my story “Tim” from 2007, would be happy to give you some thoughts on the teachings of the “parent” church that might help you.
Keep in mind though, There’s a reason why this site exists, and it’s not because these groups helped a lot of people.
November 12th, 2007 at 3:07 pm
Let me amend the last sentance of my previous comment, (wish there was an edit option!) I did’nt mean to presume to state reasons as for the existance of this site as it’s not my place to do so. Rather, what I was trying to get at is this…When you read A LOT of bad reports about a particular institution, it throws up a caution flag. I think that you will hear a lot more bad reports about these groups in particular as oposed to your more main stream groups. Not necessarily about doctrine, but rather about government. These groups are very controlling, You don’t just attend on saturday and then go about your business…they exert their authority on your everyday private life. The WCG did; anyway, the leaders of the offshoots I believe are mostly former members of WCG that typically held positions of authority in the parent church whether pastor, deacon, or elder. So I would assume that they’ve taken some of that controlling nature with them.
I don’t envy your position. Religion is a tricky thing. Hopefully, you and your friend are close enough that if you voice your concerns and try to get them out, you won’t end up driving them further into the group as is very possible. I wish you all the best of luck and feel free to e-mail me.
December 5th, 2007 at 2:45 pm
Kayla, I’m afraid you have been poorly acknowledged after your courage in revealing your underbelly as it were. Thank you for sharing your story and praise to you for your bravery in getting away and getting it right. I know it is a long and difficult process, the more so when it was your childhood “norm.” I needn’t remind you that your suffering was very wrong and I am very happy that you have chosen to marry a man who is sympathetic and understanding. You’re absolutely right. It is crap! And it is not unique to this cult but to all cults. I don’t suggest you study the cult mentality, but if you do you will find that there are common qualities to all and, at least for me, this was a comfort. Good luck and have a wonderful rest of your life! I suspect it will get better and better and better.
December 5th, 2007 at 2:52 pm
Luta Duncan,
All you can do is assure your son of your love for him, your opinion about his direction in life and your request for him to respect you and others for their own decisions regarding their religious beliefs, something for which we are each accountable. I doubt that you can convince him of his error but I believe it would be wise to leave the door open to further communication.
There are many books on the psychology of cults and larger, urban communities have folks who are trained to help in such cases, but this is something a person has to want. Unfortunately, your son may have to suffer quite a lot before he is ready to reevaluate. Cults are very persuasive and compelling to some.
I am very sorry for your anguish.
December 7th, 2007 at 8:04 pm
Tim,
I found this sight while do research. I attended WCG briefly in the 80’s. Thankfully didn’t actually “join”.
Just a question for you or for anyone else if you post this. I recently ran across an old vhs tape of the Feasts in 1983 and 1984. Was wondering if anyone knew what happened to some of the Young Ambassadors; the Meyers, McNairs, Petersons, Dwayne Abler, Kathy Pierce, etc. Are any of them still “in”? Was just curious to see how their lives turned out, especially after HWA’s death.
December 7th, 2007 at 11:07 pm
Oooops, sorry Tim. I screwed up my e-mail. duhhhhh
December 8th, 2007 at 9:06 pm
Hi Michelle, Good to hear they did’nt get their hooks in too deep! ‘84 was my last feast, Rapid City, South Dakota. Can’t give you any info on what happened to some of the Young Ambasadors, don’t have a clue. Would be interesting to hear about some of them though.
We belonged to a small “provencial” congregation. We were rather removed from the goings on in Pasadena. You know how during the imperial age citizens of the mother countries tended to look down on colonists from the far reaches of the empire? A plantation owner in Guyana was typically damn proud to be french, however the social elite in Paris would consider him of slightly lower class. That’s the way I always felt the relationship was between the lay congregations and the elite in Pasadena.
As I recall, very few from our area went to A.C. The ones that did go were typically children of the local church authority, and they typically went to Big Sandy. If you were one of the commoners, you might have a shot at Texas, but I think you really had to be somebody to even realistically think about California. Something along the lines of “Take the provencials’ money, and maybe wave at them, but don’t let them in the house.”
So yeah, it would be interesting to hear how some of them fared after the fall of the empire. I’ve always wondered also what ever became of my old tormentor, our local minister. Did he ever have a cathartic moment and realize the extent of the pain he inflicted, or is he still out there playing the same game with peoples lives? Wish I could give you some info, Michelle. Perhaps someone else will have some they can share with us.
On a side note…Carol brought up an good point earlier in these comments, Cheers to Kayla for her bravery and strength. It’s always good to hear from someone who got out, and Carol’s right- things will always get better and better. Best of luck Kayla, and hope to hear from you again!
December 20th, 2007 at 2:36 pm
Yes, best of luck to Kayla!!! Don’t worry Kayla, you’ve already won!!
And thank you Tim for answering my comment. Henry Sturcke was the minister at the time I attended. It did seem odd how all of the children were too quiet during services. I was 19-20 at the time and I had a hard time sitting still!
I can’t pinpoint the exact reason I stopped attending at this point in time, but I know the emphasis on tithing was definitely part of the issue. Not to mention the phoniness of some of the members. I didn’t seem like one big happy family to me. Thank you again Tim and hang in there Kayla!!! Seems like we have a happy family right here!!
December 23rd, 2007 at 3:49 pm
Hi Kayla,
You are very brave and strong. If you had the strength to leave at age 16 and live on the street, you have the strength to cope with this and work your way through it.
I am a 59 year survivor or WWCG. (my family started when I was 2)
Just about anything I want to say comes out as a cliche. So, just know that, yes, there are many, many who have been through what you have been through. Also know, that many of us have found happiness, many of us have raised successful children and many of us really look forward to the future-not dread it. The same is more than possible for you. One thing that has helped me is coming to grips with what my parents did-they did out of complete ignorance-but they did their best and they honestly thought they were doing the right thing. They left the church before I did. They both have died and they have both deeply apologized.
December 23rd, 2007 at 4:47 pm
Dear Luta,
When I read “Carol’s” response I got goose bumps because she said exactly what I was thinking when I read your post.
When we were in church, the pat answer was, “you can’t possibly understand because you don’t have God’s spirit”. (what gall)
There’s no way to argue with that mentality because anything you say, in his mind, will be wrong if it doesn’t fit the teachings of his church.
Battling with him is going to only make him feel stronger about what he believes in. There are also some really good books on communication.
You can show him love, and compassion. You can encourage him about everything positive you can think of. You can earn his trust and maybe he will let down his guard and listen to some genuine motherly advice-maybe he won’t listen to “spiritual” advice but you may be able to reach him or at least soften him on some issues. He needs you now more than ever. You will be the only real example of love that he has. The church will love him as long as he obeys. You will love him as long as he lives.
December 24th, 2007 at 8:09 am
Toni,
I know you mean well, but no matter WHAT Luta does or says, she won’t be able to convince her son to change his mind. If his mind is set on joining the splinter cult, then nothing will dissuade him. He, and he alone, will free himself from the clutches of the deception. It will have to be because of some personal dissalusionment, some personal pain, or some personal abuse. The feelings of others is of no concern to him, whether it be his mother or his spouse. That’s the way the brainwashing works. IF he ever does escape, it will come at a cost(of course it sounds like it already has), and all Luta can do is BE THERE when her son has been broken and tries to pick up the pieces of what life he has wasted. Carol seems to be a very wise person in what she advises. I agree with her 100%. I hope, if it ever happens, Luta will not say, “I told you so”, but just BE THERE.
Steve
December 24th, 2007 at 10:38 am
Hi Steve,
Thank you for your response.
There is so much I want to say but I don’t want to discourage Luta.
In the end, for me, it was the kindness and love of total strangers that made me angry at God. That may sound strange but I couldn’t bear the guilt of being one of the “chosen” ones while these kind, loving, people who worshipped God on a level I couldn’t even conceive were going to go through the horrors of the tribulation because they didn’t belong to the “true” church.(what kind of God was that?)
In a way, we are saying the same thing. You are saying, “be there”. I’m trying to say how to “be there”. I’m not saying my advice is perfect. It is just a thought that I threw out there. And if anyone has any other positive suggestions I would love to hear them. We can all learn and we can all help each other. I’ve been on both sides, the abused, and because I knew no other way, the abuser.
I hope my comments don’t offend. That is surely not my intent. And, if you don’t agree with me don’t stop saying so! I’m not done learning!
January 8th, 2008 at 11:36 am
A link for Luta, about “The Restored Church of God”
http://churchofgodrestorationexposed.us/
The discussion forum (where current members and ex-members share their stories of abuse) is particularly disheartening.
There’s a reason the Impostle that heads this splinter (the Restored Church of God) is referred to as “the Packatollah” by most of the ex-WCG sites. David Pack is a very bad man, and is a close contender in most ex-members’ minds for another Waco, once it all goes bad.
Here’s an example (with commentary) of one of the sermons Pack brow-beat his membership with recently:
http://shadowsofwcg.blogspot.com/2007/12/packs-sermon-confirmed-online-and-post.html
From this, it’s obvious to ex-members that Pack is gathering funds, but to what ends no one is entirely certain at the moment.
(For a true Koresh scenario, my money’s on Ronald Weinland and the CoG-PKG sect, but that’s another, longer discussion I won’t get into here.)
January 9th, 2008 at 4:25 pm
Sorry, luta, that link I gave you (churchofgodrestorationexposed.us) is actually about a different cult.
The link I gave you, for David Pack’s “clarion call” sermon with commentary, is indeed the Restored Church of God cult, that you are looking for information about.
Sorry about the mixup!